Chapter: A Night-Out with Jin

Jin asked me out for a drink yesterday night and he picked me up from my place since my brother that time took my car and disappeared into the moonlight with it. We headed off to TTDI Plaza which is located near the wet market. That place it pretty new because it just open and well, all I can say that it is what you call, rich man’s area. At first I thought it would a casual drink in a “mamak” stall but later on he confined with me on the way there saying that we are meeting with his mum and her friends in a pub. Well, that got me speechless.

So we met up with is mum and she brought us to this pub and we ventured inside. The place was really decent with a “new” atmosphere feeling to it. His mom introduced Jin as her son and she introduced to me as his GIRFRIEND. It really got me taken aback and I hissed to Jin, “Since when I became your girlfriend?”

He just looked at me and shrugged and both of us laughed. I was introduced to his cousin and his uncles who were there plus his mom’s friends. His mom told this German guy whose name is Eric that Jin was her son and was celebrating his birthday tomorrow. It went like this:

“Eric, my son, Jin is celebrating his birthday tomorrow. Same time with me,” she shouted due to the fact that the music was blasting.

“Okay, but why are you telling me this? I am not gay,” he joked. I think he has one too many gin and tonics if you ask me.

“If you told me that she is celebrating her birthday tomorrow or something then I would be interested,” he teased and pointed at me.

After the “adults” mingled with themselves joking and talking, I was just sitting there and was thinking that it has been a while since I ventured into a pub. It was like a small club that doesn’t have a dance floor but a disco ball, snooker table and blasting music that sounded really old school. I heard one really old school song which is titled “Mr. Bombastick.” Later on I got really cold and I told it to Jin and we headed outside for me to grab some hot air. We just sat there and talked while he smoked. I did drink some gin and tonic and I really didn’t like it because I could feel my face burning up in flames and it was really red. Well, I felt that it was red but I didn’t or should say couldn’t see it because it was really dim. We mingled around inside the pub but all in all I couldn’t really stand the cold and we ventured out again. I suggested that we should “explore” the place because it is still new and not many shops have opened there. The place looks like an airport / planetarium instead of a plaza. It has blue lights which made my ears look purple because I remember seeing myself in the mirror in the toilet and my ears were really red. I was thinking at that time, “Great, just what I need. A red face and ears and under these blue lights, I look like a purple monster.”

We later went back in and noticed that all his mom’s friends have left and only his cousin and his uncles who were entertaining some customers. He asked me to seat and then he sat next to me. He started talking to his mom and cousin and I was just sitting there quietly feeling cold in the place and the next thing I know his placed his hand on my knee. I pretended that I didn’t feel anything but all I know that I could feel my heart beating really fast against my chest. Then his hand left my knee because he wanted to drink his beer. Occasionally he would asked whether I am okay or am I still feeling cold which I replied that I am okay and STILL feeling cold. He continued on talking with his mom and cousin and I placed my hands between my knees because it was freezing up. Out of the blue, Jin placed his hand on my hands and it almost made me jump with surprise but I managed to remain my composure but I could really feel my heart beating really fast and I think it wasn’t the gin and tonic that was making my face going redder than ever.

Few hours later around 11 something pm, we decided to leave and he had to send his mother home at Segambut. Along the way, we had supper at this dim sum shop near Jalan Ipoh. We just sat there and talked and when it strikes 12am, I wished both of them happy birthday. I couldn’t really talk much that time because I was really shy with his mom around and tried to be myself but as what I was brought up to be, always be quiet and polite in the presence of an adult especially if it is someone’s parent. Well, so I think I was brought up to be that way or some matter. All in all, one thing I can say about his mom, SHE IS COOL. I did tell Jin that his mom was cool that goes drinking in a pub and all which is different from my mom who doesn’t drink but she is still cool in her own way. I mean my mom, not his.

After that we met up with Peggy, Foong and “Maria” at Banana Leaf located at Centerpoint. We just sat there talking and discussing what to do on his birthday. Peggy also told me that Ben is coming down to celebrate his birthday on Saturday together with Jin and asked me to come along which I said that it wouldn’t be a problem if she could tell me the place and time. While they talking among themselves in Chinese, I was just stoning there because I didn’t get enough sleep the previous night and was feeling the sleepiness kicking in. But out of the blue, Jin looked at Foong and said;

“Oh, she became my girlfriend since 9pm”

“Yeah, for 3 whole hours,” I said with a laugh.

Foong’s tiny eyes became big and started to stare at both of us. The next thing I know he took out his hand phone and was muttering “I so need to record this” and “shine” his phone at Jin and asked;
“Say that again,”

“I am not saying it again,” he said and ignored him.

“Jessie, why don’t you say it for me?” he asked and aiming his phone at me.

“Hmm, okay. Foong is the spawn of Satan,” I said.

“Shut up,” he replied and aimed his phone back at Jin. “Come on, say it again. Say it again.”

“Okay, Foong is the spawn of Satan,” he answered.

I laughed and Foong got quite annoyed and muttered, “You guys suck.”

“I know,” I replied.

Soon, we left the place and Jin walked me up to my house well, not literally walked me all the way to my house on the account we just took the lift to the thirteen floor and walked me to my door which he decided to stand a good 10 feet away from it because he has heard stories of my dad that is really strict and all that. I gave him a birthday hug and another hug to thank him for picking me up and entertaining me for the night. I went back home and tried to go to bed and then I received a text message from him. It went-

Hey. I forgot to tell you that I had a great time tonight. You looked really sleepy and it had probably been best if you get some sleep soon. He he. Sweet dreams!

I replied-

Me too. I did sleep for 2 hours. Hahaha, but it was fun being your girlfriend for three hours. LOL! Take care, good night and happy birthday. *hugs*

Then I sent him another text message that goes like this-

Try this,

1. Go to write messages
2. Put on dictionary
3. Cover the screen with your hand
4. Press 42779124784329
5. Gently remove your hand…

Hope it works!

Well the word comes out Happy Birthday if you are wondering and later on his message came in-

Wow! Thanks! That was really sweet of you, not being sarcastic. Heheh. And aren’t you supposed to be sleeping by now? 2 hours isn’t enough you know ;-)

I was thinking that was really sweet of him thinking about my welfare of lacking of sleep that will make me not look like a freaking zombie the next day but I replied-

Trying. I don’t sleep in an instant. It takes time for me to get to bed. Maybe the gin and tonic is keeping me awake. Wait; aren’t you supposed to be asleep too?

His reply-

Hahah. Nah, I don’t have to work tomorrow. Heheh. Still up for lunch? Or we could get a drink later in the afternoon. Gin and tonic sucks!

I totally forgotten that he asked me whether I could grab lunch with him tomorrow and I quickly replied-

You give me a buzz. Gin and tonic doesn’t go well with me. Makes me look way too red. Just to remind you that I would be picking my brother at 12ish. Okay, now me sleep. Nights!

His last reply-

Nighters! Sleep tight! I’ll see you tomorrow. :-O

I went to charge my phone then and went to sleep thinking whether I will be seeing him tomorrow, well I mean today. I would be still in bed right now if my parents didn’t come bustling in my room telling me what they wanted me to do and all that causing me to not being able to get back to sleep. I mean, haven’t they heard of POST-ITS?!!

Chapter : Interested or Not Interested, that is the question.

I think this is what I call the first time in my life that I am constantly blogging. It is because mostly it is either I forget all about it or just too lazy but it seems that these days I feel as though I really need to take account on everything and just dunk it in here.

I just came back from hanging out with Yuki, Joey, Jin and Foong. Well, at first I met up with Joey and Yuki at the Curve and they were eating steamboat. Then I sat for sometime because I was waiting for them to finish their dinner. Later on after that we just walked around and Joey was craving for doughnuts. So we headed off finding doughnuts around 9 something at night and the shops are closing and we managed to find this shop named the Big Apple and we headed there for doughnuts. Joey was choosing the doughnuts while Yuki and I lingered around looking at them.

Then this dude was asking Joey, “How many pieces?”

“Five,” she said.

“Miss, if like that, why don’t you get half a dozen?” he asked.

“Hmm, okay,” she agreed.

He grabbed a box and instead of asking her which one she wanted, he asked me who was innocently standing far away from the counter dazing off in fantasy land. I just looked at him and walked away and he continued to serve Joey then. Not too long after, I went towards her and put my hands around her shoulder and stood there while waiting for her to make her decision. Out of the sudden the people working there just suddenly looked and me and spoke this in Mandarin which I thought at first was another language like Burmese or Vietnamese or something.

“Hi, my friend wants to know you. What is your name?” he asked.

“Huh?” was all I could answer.

“Which wants of us do you like?” he continued.

“Huh??” still looking appalled by sudden interrogation.

Yuki has to practically drag me to the cashier while Joey was laughing her head off. I mean they just left Joey’s doughnuts there on top of the counter and just talked to me. Yuki just dragged me to the cashier while taking the doughnuts with her because it seems that Joey was laughing so hard that she was trying not to cough up her lungs. After Joey paid for the stuffs we ran off to Cineleisure to find a place to sit and eat them. Joey and Yuki were laughing and teasing me about the incident that taken place and it seems that it was the “hit” topic for that moment.

We cleared up the doughnuts in an instant and I have to admit that the doughnuts were tasty! We walked around some more but we can see that the mall was closing and Yuki suggested that we should hang around at Starbucks since it is still open and closes at 2am. I ordered hazelnut hot chocolate while Yuki got herself mango passion fruit drink. We sat there and Yuki wanted to smoke but I think she either lost her lighter or forgot to bring it and asked me to ask from the table next to us. I tapped the person on the shoulder and casually asked-

“Excuse me; can I borrow your lighter?”

“Err…huh? Err, okay,” he said and took his friend’s lighter and passed it to me.

“Thank you,” I said and smiled.

I passed the lighter to Yuki and she and Joey were laughing their heads off at the way on how I asked for the lighter. They told me it was as though I know the person really well and even though he was in a deep conversation with his friends, I just casually disturbed him and asked for his lighter. They were like, “She didn’t even said excuse me!” and started laughing and I did point out that I did said that but I think he didn’t hear me due to the fact that he has more important things to pay attention to a random girl asking for his lighter in a polite manner or not. We just sat there for quite sometime and we started talking about serious matters. Once in a while we joked around and teased Joey about her guy and they teased me about my guy which I really didn’t think that he was my guy.

Soon after our stay at Starbucks, we headed off to Centerpoint Mc Donald’s and we called out Jin and he called Foong. We just sat there chit chatting and laughing and joking with each other but I felt really awkward because Yuki and Joey kept teasing me with Jin because they feel that he is a winner since it seems that he is interested in me but not for my looks but for who I am itself. Whereas in my case I kept assuring them that Jin and I are just merely friends that have the same taste of humour and we get along really well. They said that I was in denial. I mean like HELLO?!! Which part of me is denying it? I mean I don’t feel anything from him and he and I just casual people talking and laughing at the same kind of jokes.

Okay, I can admit that I do feel attracted to him because he has a great sense of humour which is one of the things I want to find in a guy because I want to be always laughing with the guy that I am dating instead of stoning around or talking some really smart things. Not only that, I was attracted to his looks because he looks like this Korean artist named Kangin from the group Super Junior. Other than that, I should think there is nothing more. I still don’t see the part which they see that he is interested in me. I mean which part? Do they have a checklist with them that I could see and understand or something? He somewhat does fulfill my criteria that I want for a boyfriend. Well, my criteria for what I want in my boyfriend is

• Nice
• Loyal
• Has a great sense of humour
• Caring

He does fulfill all of that! I mean he makes me laugh most of the time to the extend that I could pee in my pants! Not that I have literally peed in my pants but that isn’t the point! He has tons of friends, or should say girlfriends that are way cooler, funnier, nicer or prettier than me. Why would he want to be dating a person who is lame, stupid, blur and lack of self actualization? I really don’t see the point there. His birthday is this Friday and he did tell me that he was free and asked me whether I was free which my best friends telling me to go out with him to celebrate and I really don’t know what am I suppose to do. I was trying to find out what he wants to do on his birthday in order to get some ideas but this is what I got:

“What do you want to do on your birthday?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I want to October fest,” he said.

“Huh? October, what?” I asked looking blur.

“There are having October fest in One Utama, I want to go. Beer at RM1,” he explained.

“Oh, okay,” I said and that it is.

I am serious. After what they told me that he is interested in me and all that, I couldn’t properly have a decent conversation with him nor be myself. I felt so weird all the time and was hoping that I could keep him talking to me in order for me to find out about him but I just don’t know how. I felt that I was trying to impersonate another person that isn’t me. Yuki and Joey are trying their best to get me together with him which I am really grateful and all that but they do have to realize that I would be flying off to Australia in February and he would be here in Malaysia and will have tons of people to be with and happy. I mean why would he CHOOSE me when there are millions of people that he could be with? Don’t they see the bigger picture?

God, I have a headache from trying to explain to them. Maybe I DO need a man in my life. That way he would just put me to bed and start watching me sleep and play with my hair or something.

Chapter : Deprived and Futhering Studies

Well, I would be flying off to Australia on the February but I still don’t know which day of the month that I would be going off. Upon telling my parents that I got accepted to the university that I have applied for and the course only takes one and a half years and well, all in all, I know that I am really helping my parents save costs.

Although I would have wanted to try out to go to the States but then again after hearing a really long lecture from my dad saying that he is going to retire soon and have another two kids to support and what not and well, it actually got me thinking that I should be the one that have to sacrifice everything in order to help my dad to save some money to support my two younger brothers. If you are looking at it this way, it is really depressing because I have to be the ONE to do the sacrificing. On the account of being the second eldest and all, at least my sister gets to go to well prestige school do to pharmacy which well if I am not mistaken one of the top schools in the Australia…well, I wouldn’t be too sure on that because I remembered reading it somewhere a long time ago.

Nevertheless, after hearing a lot of people telling me about the line of animation and also well, most of them are very experienced to be exact which actually made me settled to study in Australia regardless it wasn’t my first choice of country to go to in the first place.

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT ANIMATION

1. It is all in the work itself, not the grades or certificate.
2. Working in a production company itself actually allows you to learn more compared to studying.
3. They wouldn’t be bothered to see whether you score an awesome A in animation but seeing your demo reel whether you understand the principles of animation.

That is what I was told by my friends or I should say seniors. I took all that in account and finally made up my mind to just further my study in Australia, get my degree and then start working so my parents wouldn’t be worrying whether I am going to turn out to be a bum for life. On the other hand, whatever they said it is actually true because most of the time for us people who does art we are surveyed by our works not what paper do we hold.

All in all, I still have so many things to prepare for my trip to Australia and stuff to buy but unfortunately I don’t have the money or the time due to the fact that I am still working for my mom in her office keying in accounts, putting stamps on letters, filing documents, photostating documents or even answering the phone. Seriously, I may be bumming for a year but hell I think I might be forgetting how to even do a simple bouncing ball animation without screwing it up. Well, honestly it is my fault for not finding a job but well, I guess that I really wanted to really enjoy my life for a year instead of hovering around in a cubicle working on projects that makes things jump or run. After all, we only live life once and why can’t I enjoy it for that particular year I wonder. I guess it is because my parents feel that I am wasting their hard earning cash and decides that I should do something to fulfill my time.

THINGS TO GET / DO

1. Buy some really nice sneakers or shoes which I like and not because my dad asked me to buy due to the fact that he thinks that it is comfortable and longer lasting
2. Get some winter clothes because I know that my sister would be really upset and throwing her temper at me for using her clothes, despite the fact that her entire wardrobe is filled with so many clothes and she still has the time to tell my mom that I don’t need any. Plus, I am going to Hokkaido during December so it is a must.
3. Get new 1.0 pen
4. Get some new clothes.
5. Ditto, socks.
6. Contact lenses.
7. Get a doctor and dentist checkup
8. Research on laptop specs
9. Buy a new hard drive since the last one is being affected by virus and isn’t capable of being read in computer’s USB.
10. Buy black or olive coloured eye shadow.

Not only that my mom asked me to do a survey check on the prices of the winter clothing’s sold here so she could inform my sister whether she should get the winter clothing’s in Brisbane or back here. I would be happy to do so if only I wasn’t-

1. Have to work in her office.
2. Pick up my brothers from school since they finish around 3.45pm or 5pm and doesn’t take a school bus but live a luxury life of people ferrying them around.

I mean, if I have to go at night that means it would be in the evening but that kills most of the fun. I mean, normal teenagers or I should say young adults because I have already passed my teenagers’ years, hangs out in the afternoon. I mean, if it is in the evening, I would have exactly I should think around 4 hours spend some fun with my own friends. Unless half of the hours I spent looking for a parking spaces then it would be only 2 hours spending time with my own friends. My parents doesn’t seem to figure out how can one individual let alone a group of people hang out at one particular place doing nothing but talking and walking and not buying anything. Gee, let me see…we are only students and have learnt the art of bitching, gossiping and talking serious things to pass time. Oh, and not forgetting stoning when things gets dull. That is how things work! Don’t they see it this way? No wonder I am suffering from some mental illness because I am deprived of having fun and communicating to human beings that is around my same age.

Chapter : Trip to Singapore

Let me start off my trip to Singapore last week. I went over to Singapore for three days because there was this studio called Intense Animation Studio and was having an open day and my dad asked me to check it out which I did. Joey followed me down to Singapore too to check it out.

We set off Kuala Lumpur around 2 something in the afternoon and I think we arrived at Singapore around 8 something at night and my dad dropped off Joey at the MRT station because she is staying over at Kyoru’s place. My dad and I were staying at my aunt’s place throughout the short trip. I wasn’t used to the quiet lifestyle because well, my aunt and uncle sleep around 9 at night and I normally sleep at 4 in the morning. I slept with my aunt in her room while my dad took another room for himself and my uncle slept outside. Thankfully I brought a book to read with me if not I would probably die of boredom throughout the night. While engrossed with the book, my cousin and his wife came back from work. My cousin works in this company called MediaCorp which a TV station in Singapore which is pretty well known. His wife on the other hand is one of the producers there if I’m not mistaken.

When they saw me, I greeted them of course and I then went to disturb them in the comfort of their own room. Well, actually my cousin brother asked me to come into the room and he asked me some questions about why am I wandering around in Singapore at this time of the month, and whether I am working (obviously not, unless you taken the account working for my mother with no pay working…) and then my dad “summoned” him and he went to talk to my dad and I was sitting in the room with his wife who seem to be doing something.

Then she told me that my cousin brother just bought himself an IPhone which is one of the “in” gadgets this year and she allowed me to fiddle with it and I was so amused with the phone to the extend that I wanted one for myself. Everything was TOUCH screen. It felt so wonderful in my palms that I wanted to bring back to KL. Then I went to see his games and I saw a fair lot of old school games like Super Mario and Donkey Kong. I was so tempted to play it but I didn’t want to waste his batteries or anything, or worse, destroyed it on the spot. I do tend to have this sort of “curse” where whatever kind of electronic device comes into my hand, it would be destroyed in an instant. Then my cousin’s wife was asking me whether I have a Wii at home. One of the latest game console that everyone is after, which I replied that I don’t have it at home due to the fact that if I do have a Wii at home my two brothers would not study and hence would be the main cause of the nice little red marks in their papers.

I was wondering why she was asking me that which later on she told me that one of my cousin brother’s friend from the States gave him a Wii for his birthday. I was muttering “lucky bastard” under my breath and she said that she should have asked him to hook it up for me to play which sadly she forgot and I didn’t even get the chance to play it. Even throughout my days there, I didn’t once touch the Wii because it was packed in this suitcase with al the other game consoles that my cousin brother has such as the PSP and PS2.

It then dawned upon me that my cousin brother’s room is a friggin’ entertainment center. Soon I found out that he still has his old IPod which he doesn’t use it anymore and wanted a new one and I was begging my cousin brother to give it to me. The conversation went like this

Me: Yang, give me your IPod since you are not using it anymore.
He: Why should I?
Me: Well, you should learn to care for your little poor cousin sister who doesn’t own an

IPod and you already have the IPhone which you can listen your music.
He: *laughs* No.
Me: Why not? Seriously, I don’t have an allowance and you ought to have compassion

for your cousin sister you know. Come on, give me your IPod. I would handle it

with uttermost care.
He: Still no. I rather sell it and get money instead.

I mean he is married for almost a year and he already learnt the art of saying “No” and I am so certain that it would be a good skill to his future children. I can so imagine his kids going,

“Daddy, daddy, can I have a transformer toy?”

“No.”

“Please daddy, I will promise to do my homework a day in advance!”

(laughs) “No.”

The poor kid would be upset and the rest of his day looking as though he eaten a barrel of lemons. Well, I almost looked as though I eaten a barrel of lemons and was bought to have all my hopes of getting his IPod all crushed when he offered me his Macbook for me to go online. That made me perked up like a child given a bucketful of candies. Sadly he didn’t offer it to me to bring it home and called it mine. That would even make me even happier and I would be forever in his debt and would proclaim to the entire nation that he is my most favourite cousin brother. Thankfully my cousin brother has the sense to install Wifi in the house and I could go online wherever I liked even in the bathroom. I was thinking that I wouldn’t be able to go online throughout my stay in Singapore.

I logged on and some people who knew that I was in Singapore were pretty surprised that I could be online and I just explained to them about my cousin and his mini entertainment center and offered me to use his Macbook to go online. I was in my aunt’s room typing in pitch dark because my aunt was already asleep and have to wake up around 5am to go to church so I couldn’t on the lights and disturb her beauty sleep. Anyway, for what is worth, a Macbook isn’t computer friendly that is what I can say. It is pretty and all that but seriously the shortcut keys that you have to get use to like “Ctrl+A” is selecting all text in a normal computer but for the Mac you have to press this Apple looking icon and A which got me confused half the time.

Anyway, furthering on with the next day which my dad said that I have the entire day to myself which is the most awesome news I have ever heard in my life. Most of the time whenever we are on a trip to Singapore, my own parents wouldn’t allow me to go out alone and wander around the streets of Singapore. So I managed to make some plans to meet up with my online friends whom I have met through a game and we agreed to meet up at Orchard Road that day. My aunt offered to escort me all the way there because she was afraid that I would get lost along the MRT way and ended up somewhere at the other end of Singapore. Before my aunt and I left the house, I was preparing with make-up and all then my aunt came in the room and had a conversation with me. The conversation went like this,

“You are going out to meet your friends, right? What time would you be back?” she asked.

“I don’t know. It depends I guess because I haven’t met her before,” I replied.

“Okay, your friends are all girls, right?” she asked.

“Erm, yeah…”I replied.

“No guys?” she asked.

“Yeah, only girls,” I assured her so she wouldn’t be so worried about me getting raped and all that.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked again.

“No, I don’t,” I said.

“Are you gay?” she asked.

I just stared at her for a long time and replied, “No, I am not.”

“Ah, thank god that you are gay!” she exclaimed and started smiling.

I just stared at her as though she was an alienated being that came to me for road directions! But in all confusion I asked her, “Why do you think that I am gay?”

“Oh, because most of the people who does arts are gay,” she said.

Well, that was blunt I should say. To top it all that, it was said in Mandarin. I couldn’t believe my own ears that my own aunt thought that I was gay. Well, I would have joked about it but due to my limitation in that particular language I couldn’t. I mean even if I could I couldn’t because she is a sweet 60 something year old lady and I shouldn’t give her a scare if you know what I mean. I did plan to say this if I could speak properly in Mandarin and she wasn’t really that old. The conversation would turn out like this.

“Are you gay?”

“Well, I guess so since half the time I spend mostly with girls and we always hug and say I love you to each other. Hmm, so pretty much I am gay.”

Aunt couldn’t reply due to the fact she finds out one of her nieces is gay and won’t be getting married and letting her see her grandnieces or nephews and to top it all, she wont be seeing a husband but an extra “hus-wife”. Okay, running along with the story instead of explaining the sadistic lame story of aunty thinking niece is gay and it would ruin the family tree.

My aunt and I reached at Orchard Road and I was waiting for my friend, Xian to arrive. I was grateful yet worried or should say more like embarrassed because I have to trouble my aunt to escorted me all the way here and wait for pretty much a long time for my friend to arrive before she could be freed from worrying that I would be abducted by strange people.

I have never met Xian before in my entire life but when we just met; we automatically clicked as though we haven’t seen each other for ages. We walked along Orchard Road while looking for presents to buy for another friend who is studying in UK. It was drizzling a little and it was really wet and Xian was telling me how she hates the rain while I said that I only like rain when I am at home in my own room. Neither of us had an umbrella and we walked under the rain as though we have nothing else better to do but to get ourselves soak with water. Well, technically speaking we didn’t get soaked but just slightly damped because it was only drizzling.

We walked from Orchard Road all the way to Dhoby Ghaut, I think that is how it was spelt but whenever someone says “Meet me at Dhoby Ghaut.” I would automatically think of bitter gourds instead. I wouldn’t know the reason why I do so. We stopped at the internet café which it is called PC bunk to most Singaporeans and we both sat there and played a game of Audition. Xian and I had tons of fun and were laughing our heads off creating a small racket from all the blasting music surrounding us. A group of guys crowded our place and both of us feel a bit pressured because all the eyes were on the screen watching us play.

After 2 hours in the bunk, we headed off to grab some bite at this restaurant called Billy Bombers. That restaurant has this 80’s feel and well it was decorated to look like those little coffee shops in those days. If you remember Sean Kingston’s song, “Beautiful Girl” and watched his MV where the starting there was this bunch of girls heading inside the shop which looks like the 80’s? Well, it looks like that at Billy Bombers. We sat down and were thinking what to order and took some pictures while we were at it. While waiting for food, we were talking, laughing and joking with each other and another of my friend whom I also met in a game, text messaged me saying that she is able to drop by to see me.

The food came and the portions were HUGE. Thankfully I managed to finished what I ordered but Xian couldn’t and we still were waiting for my friend, Fyora to arrive after her classes. Xian was rummaging through her bag and then she finds an UMBRELLA in her bag and she can ask me this question, “Jessie hani, why do I have an umbrella in my bag?”

“How would I know?” I said.

Then we both laughed.

“You know, we walked from all the way from Orchard Road to here in the rain only now to find out that you have an umbrella stored in your bag?” I exclaimed with a laugh.

“I don’t know Jessie. I really don’t know!” she replied laughing as well.

Then I kept on teasing her since then until Fyora’s message came in saying that she was near Tanglin and I looked at Xian and asked where is that and she just stared at me and said,

“Hmm, where is that?”

I just looked at her astounded and said, “You don’t know where Tanglin is?”

“Erm, yeah,” was her reply.

“Are you sure you are Singaporean. You know, you could be Malaysian and said that you are Singaporean as cover up,” I teased.

“Nooooooooo!!!” she said and was laughing her head off.

Later Fyora arrived and she ordered her food to eat and I told her about Xian being a fake Singaporean and not knowing about an umbrella in her bag and I continued teasing her from that time one. But for what’s worth. It was really a great time hanging out with them. We laughed and talked and walked around a mall for some time and then I had to go back because my aunt was getting really worried for me. I would have continued on longer but I think it has already reached the length of a short story novel.

Chapter : Four Stops, Four Types of Group.

Yesterday was pretty much an eventful day for me because I decided to be an all rounder meeting up person. You probably won’t understand what I have said but that is the reason why I am going off to tell a long boring tale.

It all began that I have arranged a Rashingi meet up because it was Kelsie’s birthday. Well, it was a day belated birthday meet up because on the night of her birthday she was busy. Anyway, it was a Friday and we met up at Sunway Pyramid for dinner. I drove off there first to do some college stuff which I have arrived a tad bit too late because the Student Service Department was closed but luckily enough they were nice enough to take in my form asking them to type a letter saying that I studied the course in English. Kelsie later on met up with me and we decided to play a game at the arcade. Our infamous game that we normally play, which is Rock Fever. The game where there are six buttons to press and one pedal. It is like o2jam but, worse. Well, sort of come to think of it. Anyway, we played a game and the funniest thing was we haven’t touched it for ages and the first time we played, we played against each other and well, I lost of course. The next time we played when Joey arrive, was some song we used to be able to conquer and we died on the first round causing our token to be wasted at one shot.

After walking and sitting around, we decided on the place to eat which was our favourite restaurant (well, mine and joey’s to be exact) named Zanmai. We just sat there chatting and then Sylvia joined us later. After we ate our fill and paid the bill, we set off to the arcade again because Sylvia wanted to play Para and we tagged along. Sylvia played a few rounds and Kelsie play a round, and than later we tried the Rock Fever thing again. This time we were smarter because we chose all the easy songs to play. It was pretty amusing to see us trying our best to catch all the notes as though we are playing like professionals. A few rounds of laughter and fun, than we headed off home while I have to meet up with Seng Hon and my other high school friend for a drink.

I drove all the way back to my area and picked Seng Hon up and drove to Devis Corner, an Indian mamak which is pretty famous. I met up with Chen, Chee Lum and Ai May who came back from LA for a break. We sat there and caught up with each other and during that night, my phone couldn’t stop ringing nor having text messages coming in and the funniest part is that they thought I was majoring in Mass Communication. They thought that I was doing PR and when I told them I was majoring in animation that couldn’t believe me. After I drop Seng Hon at his place, I sped off to William’s and met up with my seniors from college. Yuki, Boo, Keng Sun, Nabil and Raymond were there and I met up with them.

They were asking me why do I look so dressed up to come to a nearby mamak stall and I told them I was at a dinner before that, and then only they believed me. They said that they feel under dressed looking at me. It was really amusing. After that, Yuki and I met up with Jin and Foong at Mcd’s and we sat there till 3 in the morning just chatting and laughing plus the occasionally stoning. All in all, I went back almost 4am and slept around 6am because I was reading a book and woke up around 12pm today just for lunch. It was really a hectic night that day because I went to four different stops meeting with almost four different groups of people. It was fun and I don’t mind trying it again if it doesn’t take so much time.

Chapter : A Sadden Heart...

I am feeling slightly off colour these days. Maybe it is because depressing people’s aura is rubbing on me and I too become as depressed as them. I don’t know. But a lot of things were on my mind these days and half the time I always keep it to myself and I really don’t know what to do with myself. Half the time I wanted to tells it to my best friends but half the time I feel that I can’t.

These days I feel that I have always been put down and I usually take it normally but half the time it tends to get to you when they do it way often. For an example, I know that my artistic skills isn’t something to brag about but I have always tried my best do practice and produce something which is nice enough for me to see. But throughout the 8 months I haven’t held a pencil because I keep thinking that I don’t have the skills to even draw something presentable. I know it is all in my head but it doesn’t helps when your best friends keep telling you that you can’t draw either. You know how heart crushing it feels that something that you love to do and realize that you can’t do but instead of getting encouragement from your friends, instead you get words like “You can’t even shade properly. I wonder how in the world you graduated from the academy.” It hurts but I don’t say it because I used to take it as a joke. But if you kept on repeating it tends to get to you really badly.

Teases are fine with me. I am always the center of attention when it comes to stupidity, lameness or dumbness. I admit that, I don’t mind that. But sometimes I feel that can I get some kind of other attention instead of that? Or maybe something that isn’t regarding about, “Oh, Jessie is always getting this guy’s attention. Jessie is this. Jessie is that.” I don’t see it as a compliment but just a word of teasing and sometimes I feel a strike of uttermost jealousy. But I can’t say these things because I feel that it is what brings laughter and joy to all of us and honestly enough, it does bring it to me. I love seeing people laughing and joking but sometimes I feel is that the only thing I can do?

Another thing troubling in my mind, are men. I don’t mean it as an offence but sometimes I keep wondering, what has happen to all the normal men in this world? It may like I’m bragging but I am just stating a fact here. I do get people taking my numbers because of my looks. I do get people liking me because of my looks. As flattering as it may be, but they haven’t even know me well enough yet and it is tough when you have no choice but to treat them nicely even though they keep declaring their uttermost love at you and you keep saying to them, “How can you like me when you don’t even know me?” and when I do say that, they will be all pissed at you saying that you are very snobbish and what not or I didn’t give them a try to find out. I kept wondering, am I just going to get a guy because I feel that I should give him a chance? I don’t want to fall into that situation.

What I tend to find it something that will push me forward. I am already getting put down by my own parents and I have to bear with it. But getting put down by your own friends in a teasing way is fine, but too much, it hurts you really badly. Am I the kind that I have to cheer my friends up and let my problems engulf me slowly? But for what is worth, I do treasure what I have, my friends that is always there for me and sides, I shouldn’t be greedy and ask for too much, right?

Chapter : Trip to Brisbane

Finally I am updating my journal after staying in Brisbane for 8 days and have barely time to type a proper journal entry due to the fact that I have no privacy. My time spent in Brisbane was pretty dead because Brisbane is a small country and well, there isn’t much to do to begin with. I went to Harbour Town and did some shopping, went to Surfer’s Paradise to walk around. I have to admit that Brisbane is a pretty nice and relaxing town. But I wouldn’t know whether I can live there but I guess I have to get use to it I suppose.

On the other hand, my time in Brisbane was mostly spent seeing the universities there and meeting up with the representatives from those universities. I have already sent my application to these three universities, Griffith, Qantm and QUT. Now I’m waiting for the offer letter to arrive to confirm my placement in the universities and if everything goes well, I would be leaving to Brisbane by February. The reason why I decided to go to Brisbane is because after listening to my dad’s prep talk, saying that he is retiring in 2 and a half years time and I have to support my youngest brother education and if I go to Brisbane I would be able to save money on the accommodation, transportation and also on food expenses because my sister is studying there.

Although my main wish is to go to Vancouver to study but I have to think of my brother’s education too and well, I have to think of my own future too. My sister is applying for a PR there and when I study there, I would be able to apply for a PR too and my family would be able to do the same and migrate there and therefore my youngest brother’s education wouldn’t be so expensive then. I would probably be working there too because if I am not mistaken when I get my PR I would have to fulfill some conditions or some things.

Looking on the brighter side, at least the job opportunity is not too bad and well, I would be able to work there or something. If things get better, I might be able to apply to work at other countries too. So I have to look things on the brighter side. Every cloud does have a silver lining. Wouldn’t you think so? For what’s worth, I did get my daily dosage of eye candies when I was there. This is what I found out that differentiates between Malaysia and Australia.

Malaysia vs. Australia.

Australians are pretty polite people because they give ways to people who are crossing the roads and you don’t need to know about us Malaysians.
Australians that works in constructions sites or even garbage collectors are good looking!
Some Australian men wear shorts, like really short shorts and do their daily work.
You can walk around bare footed in Australia and people wouldn’t even give a damn.
Australia is a pretty laid back country.
Australia knows when work is and when is play time.
Brisbane is a very hilly place.
Australia ends things at 9pm. I so prefer Malaysia because of the 24 hours mamak non-stop.
Malaysia has CHILLI.
Australia’s has way better Mcds and KFC.

I can’t think of anymore because I was listing it out in my head when I was walking around Brisbane but then it took me a while to get to type it in my journal entry and therefore these things tend to slip my mind. Anyway, furthering on my story…Brisbane’s portions of food is huge and half the time I have to force myself to finish it. Even though it is expensive but looking at their large portions of food, I will say that it is pretty reasonable. It is like paying for the amount you are getting. I will probably add tons of weight when I go there because in a week I can actually put on 5kgs. Wouldn’t want to think what happens if I go there for 2 years.

After I came back, Nicole was already back in US and I didn’t even get to meet up with her. My 17 year old brother said that I have gotten darker. Joey and Yuki said that I look better with some weigh on me. All in all, I really miss my mates and I was so happy the moment I got back they came. I reached KL on the 4th around 7 something in the morning or earlier I couldn’t remember and later that night itself or the next day the Rashingis and Yuki dropped by for a visit. Joey and Yuki stayed over the night unexpectedly because Joey was supposed to do her work in Yuki’s place but came over my place first and did her work here and Yuki was accompanying her at the same time and in the end, they slept over my place.

It felt like forever not seeing them when I was in Brisbane and this cost me to worry because what will happen if I go there and study and work there? Would I be able to adapt my lifestyle there? I actually love KL’s hectic life to be honest. Sadly but true. Well, I can’t say it now because I really wouldn’t know until I experience it myself right? Joey has already graduated from college, well, sort of but she still has to go back to do her animation though. Her exhibition launch is tonight and I promised her that I would go because she would feel uncomfortable because of the atmosphere.

A lot of things can actually happen when I was away for 8 days and this guy Seng Hon I was seeing, it became weird because I could feel the distance between us and this sixth sense of mine is tingling saying that it wouldn’t work out. So I guess it is time for me to move on or just stick to my single life. More or less, I would say I should go with the flow. I finally went for my late night drinks at Centerpoint Mcds’ with Yuki and Joey. Joining us was this guy named Foong. We sat there talking, teasing, laughing, making jokes, talking about serious things and talking about ghost stories that made me freak out and felt really scared to go back home to my 13th floor condo.

After that we were joined by another friend, Pei Chyi which she was with her own housemates named, Maria (though her Chinese name is similar to mine) and Jin. They were Pei Chyi’s age which is 19 and I felt pretty old at that time. Funnily enough Jin and I seem to have a similar interest and we were pretty much in sync most of the time. I found my twin brother without realizing I thought. During my time when I was hanging out there, the guy who asked for my number named Marco suddenly appeared and gave me a shock. It is because he and I don’t message each other anymore and also the fact that he was supposedly to be “courting” me but I knew that he was just fooling around as usual. Well, due to the fact that he only got my number after my outing to Maison and the next day asking me out for a drink and knowing the fact the main reason he asked my number is because of the way I look. I feel so…used. But he is a pretty nice guy but he is only really quiet because his main language is Chinese and everyone knows that I can’t speak Chinese to save my life.

Maybe I should start taking up Chinese lessons in order for me to be able to live up to my own reputation as a Chinese. Funnily enough, I just want to learn how to speak and understand but not write. The main languages that I really want to learn how to speak, understand and write are Japanese and Korean. Oh well, let see how things go…I myself wouldn’t know.