Sunday, March 30, 2008

Chapter : Brisbane vs Malaysia

I have been in Brisbane for more than a month now and I can’t wait to go back to my own country now and I think I don’t even want to come back to “Sunny” Brisbane anymore. Why do you ask you may wonder? Why do I say this? You might be thinking, how could you prefer Malaysia compared to Brisbane? I know, compared to Malaysia, Brisbane does have some redeeming qualities that are way better. For instance, the air is fresher here, the place is cleaner and the people are well damn polite from what I have seen. I mean, over here the people actually patiently waits for you while you cross the god damn road! Sorry to say but in Malaysia, you don’t see that often. People would just blast their horns at you and scream at you to get the fuck off the road. You know what I mean and pardon my language. People here in Brisbane would greet you politely and ask you how’s your day and heck, they are just people who works at the cashier! At Malaysia, people don’t give a damn to know how your day is and just give you a cold stare and waiting for you to pay up. That’s how life in Malaysia is.

But the thing is I guess Malaysia has some good redeeming qualities too. I mean, it looks as though I’m dissing about Malaysia but heck no, I’m just explaining the difference that I have experienced here. Malaysia of course has the food; you can’t deny that for a fact. You can literally find all sorts of food there if you know where to look of course. Not only that, there are always shops open till 4am! If you are feeling hungry and want to grab something to eat but feel too lazy to even cook and well, it would literally bother your parents in the house clanking those entire saucepans just to cook something up, but anyway getting back to the point here is that you could just hop into your car and take a drive to the nearest shop and it would still be open! Even all the McDonald’s here are 24 hours, not forgetting KFC. Here in Brisbane, everything closes at 6pm or maybe during their so called late nights, 9pm. Well, the movies would still be running but heck, there is no such thing as late night shows here. Well, I don’t think so that’s for sure. How do people survive here? I know I’m struggling surviving here without my late night hang outs with my friends. Everything here in Brisbane is so dead. Literally.

At Malaysia, you have unlimited usage of water and internet which is a good thing because heck, you can bathe as long as you want and use the internet to the maximum to your liking. Over here in Brisbane, you have water restrictions and bandwith limitations. For an example, you are only allowed to bathe up to maximum 4 minutes and further than that is a big no-no. Also, you have to watch how much water you use because each house is giving a certain amount of water to use and if you used up the water that was given to you; you will have to pay the extra charges. In Brisbane, you are not allowed to water your plants as much as you want nor wash your car to keep it all shiny and clean. Why if you may asked? Simple, the answer is water restrictions. To speak on the bandwith limitations they have here, you are given certain about of usage to use for a month and if you have used up the usage, you will be facing dial-up internets. So technically if you want to download some things and it is taking up so long, I’m afraid that you will have to do some rethinking whether that particular “thing” you are downloading is important or not. Like in my case, since I was facing without the internet for almost a month and I could barely talk to anyone because heck, I JUST GOT HERE and I have really no friends at all so you know.

So my boyfriend was nice enough to spend all his money just to call me and even though we only lasted for 10 minutes each call, it was worth a lot to me. So from that day onwards, each night I look forward for his call before I go to bed because I know that he would definitely call me. But I felt really guilty because he is spending so much money on me in a day. Then luck was on my side because the internet was finally up! The next thing I know I was sharing video calls with my boyfriend each day for hours just talking or stoning literally but just because I really wanted to see the face of someone I love. Every day without fail I would go to my classes in university really happy because I know when I reach home I would be seeing my boyfriend online. Then I guess I was basking in my luck way too much because now I can’t share any more video calls with my boyfriend which hit me really hard. The only happiness I look forward each day is taken away from me. I kept asking God why he does this to me.

I mean I have to endure all those restrictions with water and all and I can take that. Bandwith limitations okay, fine since I won’t be able to download the things I want or go online as often. Now with that particular rule, I’m forced to give up my one and only gateway to communicate with my loved one and not being to see his face each day causes me such pain. I’m trying my best to survive in this strange world with new surroundings. I have turned myself into a loner and I don’t like that. I shut myself in my room, talking to no one except to my friends back home and yet some of my friends are not online because they are busy with their own things.

The only socializing I do is talking to my boyfriend each day sharing our laughter and jokes through our video calls and it makes me smile and live through another day just to see his face smiling back at me. Now, since it has been taken away from me, I will have to struggle surviving again alone in this cruel world. At times like this I’m on the verge of breaking down into pieces and I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to patch myself again. I really don’t know how much longer I can take. I don’t want to go into the path of depression just because of this. I really don’t want too. I’m beginning to regret my choice of furthering my studies here. I wished I have found a job instead. At least I would have a social life and I would be so much happier.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Chapter : Jin and My blog.

Yesterday I decided that I would let my boyfriend read my blog. Funny thing is that I never knew that he didn’t know that I have actually a blog that I write occasionally onto. It all started with a conversation on Skype. This is how it went.

[12:31:48 AM] eujinrawks says: trust me, being screwed by me would be the least of your worries when you get back

[12:31:59 AM] eujinrawks says: i was actually thinkin that you'd make me wait

[12:32:13 AM] eujinrawks says: why'd u think it took me so long to ask that random question?

[12:32:22 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: washing cup

[12:32:25 AM] eujinrawks says: i did some serious thinking since that night at ttdi plaza

[12:32:28 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: then i just pop into my mind o.o

[12:32:34 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: *it

[12:32:42 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: what serious thinking o.o

[12:32:53 AM] eujinrawks says: about whether to pop the question

[12:32:58 AM] eujinrawks says: to ask you to be with me

[12:33:00 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: I POPPED THE QUSTION

[12:33:07 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: IT WAS WEIRD OKAY

[12:33:08 AM] eujinrawks says: i didn't worry about how

[12:33:09 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: HOLY SHIT

[12:33:11 AM] eujinrawks says: no it wasn't

[12:33:12 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: DID U READ MY BLOG?!!?

[12:33:14 AM] eujinrawks says: i was gonna ask

[12:33:20 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: OH YES I DID

[12:33:20 AM] eujinrawks says: what blog??

[12:33:23 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says:

[12:33:24 AM] eujinrawks says: YOU HAVE A BLOG???

[12:33:27 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: PFFT.

[12:33:28 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: DORH.

[12:33:34 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: u never knew

[12:33:35 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: ahahahaha

[12:33:39 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: u will laugh ur arse off.

[12:33:41 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: ahahahahahahaha

[12:33:43 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: now i regret

[12:33:44 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: shit

[12:33:46 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: noooo

[12:33:47 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: dont go

[12:33:48 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: stay

[12:33:49 AM] jesc aka alwizhyper says: read convo!

But sadly, he didn’t return back to the conversation and decided to be engrossed in the stories that I wrote in my blog. I started this blog years back when I was with another boyfriend that time but that didn’t work out and I found a new one to share my life with! I was trying my best to distract my boyfriend from the blog but I failed to do so and instead he kept asking me to stop doing that because it is making him to start reading the entries from the start. Talk about making a person blush!

He told me that it was the sweetest thing anyone has done for him and making him feel much more better and secured because I don’t post our pictures up on Friendster and it causes him to feel insecure as though I didn’t want anyone to know that I was with someone apart from having the status “in a relationship” part. I decided to give him time to read my blog and asked him to start from the first entry of my blog and he was reading it and talking to me occasionally while I tried my best to keep myself from blushing. I was actually thinking ways how to kill myself from being this humiliated in my life and I actually thought up a few ways to do it and it ended up killing self with a corkscrew. Don’t ask.

Then today I asked him again how far has he gotten to reading my blog even though he self proclaimed himself that he was now a big fan of my blog and just to find out that he skipped through all my entries because he got bored and started reading from the part where I mentioned him. A few entries that I wrote about him, how we met and what do I think of him. I knew that one day it would come to haunt me the moment I posted up those entries and proclaiming my feelings towards him. Why Lord! Do you enjoy yourself doing this to me? Am I such an amusement to you? I know I am for someone and I could feel him smirking as he is reading this.

Chapter : Tired

Today is seriously a tiring day. I have decided that my group which consists of Kelsie and Wayne to record our sounds for our assignments which is due on the fifth week. Early morning I woke up around 6am, shutting my phone alarm and thus dragging myself from my bed. The morning itself was pretty cold because it was raining heavily and it is actually tempting me to fall back to sleep and not go to university today but alas, I have responsibilities that I have to oblige. I left the house around 7.00am and reaching the train station within five minutes, bought my train ticket and waited for the train. The moment the train arrived at 7.15am I didn’t hesitate to board it because the rain was getting the best of me, ruining my shoes and clothes.

Standing in the train crowded with people with their drenched umbrellas and raincoats hoping that the rain would stop. Reaching at the station where I am supposed to change train to reach to my university, I realize that the rain hasn’t stop a bit and it actually gotten heavier cause me to feel really moody. I decided to sit for a while hoping that the rain would stop and take the 7.45am train to university. While waiting, reading a book I almost miss the train because I was pretty engrossed with the book I was reading but luckily I finished my book in time to realize that the train has arrived.
Reaching my university way earlier than I expected, at first the rain was just a start of a drizzle then later on it just got heavier when I was walking towards the entrance of my university. I decided to walk down to the convenient store to grab something to eat because recently I have fainted in church due to low blood pressure or maybe lack of sugar or possibly having no food in my system. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to me again and on such an important day too, I decided to stuff myself with something regardless whether I was hungry or not.

Walking back to university again, and found myself a place to sit while I ate my breakfast and started on a new book I brought along to read while waiting for Wayne to arrive in order for us to go to grab our sound recording equipments. Wayne arrived around 8.30am and we head off to another building on the campus where the sound recording equipments are and I was pretty tired and was still feeling under the weather due to the rain and lack of sleep.

Once we got the equipments, we took the bus to Kelsie’s house and when we reached the designated stop, I called her to pick us up. She and her boyfriend came in a car and we scrambled onto it because we realized that we are wasting precious time to use the equipments since we only have 10hours to fully utilize it. When we arrived, I noticed that Kelsie was staying in a nice town house with her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s sister. We decided not to waste so much time and we got on with our work.

We started off recording the scene in the car where we “hijacked” Kelsie’s boyfriend’s car and drove around the townhouse in order to record the sound of a person driving home from work. It was pretty amusing because all of us were in the car while Kelsie was driving and I was holding the mic and Wayne was hearing the sounds. In order to achieve the sounds we wanted, all of us were required to put our phones on silent mode and not make an utter sound. Sneezing included. I was imagining those times when I was trying my best to control the sound from my stomach because I have gas in there making my tummy bloated and it tends to have the gurgling sound coming out. It is pretty embarrassing.

Later on once we got the track that we wanted, we changed our scene where the person is opening the door, drinking a cup of water, talking to her friend on the phone and then hearing a sound of a breaking glass. It was pretty funny because the first try we tried it, Wayne broke the glass and the shattered pieces flew everywhere around. I was nagging at him because he created a mess and didn’t allow me to finish the water I was drinking. We bought the glasses in a reject shop that cause $9 for 18 glasses and we decided to break the glasses in order to get the sound that we wanted.
Honestly speaking I wanted to break those glasses myself because it seems a very great stress reliever but I was afraid because I might cut myself or probably haven’t gotten the strength to break the glass apart. We started around 10 something in the morning and ended around 2 in the afternoon. I was tired and felt my eyes drooping close but I tried my best to keep it open. Kelsie and her boyfriend dropped us off at the mall nearby their place and Wayne and I carried the equipments to the bus stop where we took a bus there back to the university.

Once we reached there, we quickly head up to the computer room and transferred the sounds that we have recorded and felt quite please of the outcome of the sounds and I personally hope that the lecturer would accept the sounds that we created though. After returning all the sound equipments I felt that we were free from one burden but still have more to encounter later on in the semester. Wayne and I decided to stop by the mall nearby my place to grab something to eat because we haven’t eaten anything since we started recording. My stomach was making a hell of a noise but thankfully it wasn’t making a scene gurgling out loud in public.

After grabbing our bite, we departed and I head to the public library to return the books that I borrowed and borrowed new books again. I saw some comics that I wanted to read but there weren’t the volumes that I wanted so I decided against it. When I reached home, I was too tired out to do anything and actually dozed off to sleep for a while because being woken up by my dad telling me to get ready to go out for dinner which I feel so reluctant to do so because I was already reaching my limit. My dad noticed how reluctant I was and scolded me. I was thinking that I was really tired carrying the dumb equipments, well, I wasn’t actually. It was Wayne but my bag was pretty heavy with the other things but heck, I’m tired from my day’s trip! It doesn’t help that it was raining and I don’t have a car to drive around feeling dry.

My dad bought a car for my sister and I could tell that she was really happy about it but she was being such a brat when I asked her some questions about her car. She was answering me in a tone as though I am not suppose to know what car my dad bought for her or whether I am suppose to know all the answers and not bother her with it. I’m thinking, am I physic or what? Seriously, don’t people actually realize that a person here is tired from all the work she was doing and wants a good rest? Talk about being inconsiderate.