Saturday, May 2, 2009

Chapter : Questions?

Trying to focus but I can’t seem to do it, my mind is fogged up. I am trying my best to push away these feelings, but sadly, I can’t. I tried to hold back my tears but in the end they just flow down like a stream. Once in a while I managed to regain composure only to be betrayed by my feelings. My mind is in a mess, my heart feels burdened. I can’t think straight, I can’t do anything right. All I see is darkness, all I feel is loneliness. Pressure is arising, time isn’t lengthening…yet I still have to strive on further. How long will I last before I suffer from a mental breakdown? How long will I last before I suffer from a nervous breakdown? How long will I last before I give up from everything? How long?

Should I continue forward? Should I just give up? Should I just ignore all these facts and live on my own life? What should I do? I can’t think anymore. Tears should not be shed over this matter. Tears should be shed over joyous occasions. Not this petty sort of stuffs. Feeling isolated, feeling deprived...Feeling as though that I’m no one and I am casted aside…

What’s next? I wouldn’t know…time is still moving forward…I must look forward and cast my problems; feelings aside…I will work it out. I will work it through…somehow, probably alone.