Sunday, September 16, 2007

Chapter : Four Stops, Four Types of Group.

Yesterday was pretty much an eventful day for me because I decided to be an all rounder meeting up person. You probably won’t understand what I have said but that is the reason why I am going off to tell a long boring tale.

It all began that I have arranged a Rashingi meet up because it was Kelsie’s birthday. Well, it was a day belated birthday meet up because on the night of her birthday she was busy. Anyway, it was a Friday and we met up at Sunway Pyramid for dinner. I drove off there first to do some college stuff which I have arrived a tad bit too late because the Student Service Department was closed but luckily enough they were nice enough to take in my form asking them to type a letter saying that I studied the course in English. Kelsie later on met up with me and we decided to play a game at the arcade. Our infamous game that we normally play, which is Rock Fever. The game where there are six buttons to press and one pedal. It is like o2jam but, worse. Well, sort of come to think of it. Anyway, we played a game and the funniest thing was we haven’t touched it for ages and the first time we played, we played against each other and well, I lost of course. The next time we played when Joey arrive, was some song we used to be able to conquer and we died on the first round causing our token to be wasted at one shot.

After walking and sitting around, we decided on the place to eat which was our favourite restaurant (well, mine and joey’s to be exact) named Zanmai. We just sat there chatting and then Sylvia joined us later. After we ate our fill and paid the bill, we set off to the arcade again because Sylvia wanted to play Para and we tagged along. Sylvia played a few rounds and Kelsie play a round, and than later we tried the Rock Fever thing again. This time we were smarter because we chose all the easy songs to play. It was pretty amusing to see us trying our best to catch all the notes as though we are playing like professionals. A few rounds of laughter and fun, than we headed off home while I have to meet up with Seng Hon and my other high school friend for a drink.

I drove all the way back to my area and picked Seng Hon up and drove to Devis Corner, an Indian mamak which is pretty famous. I met up with Chen, Chee Lum and Ai May who came back from LA for a break. We sat there and caught up with each other and during that night, my phone couldn’t stop ringing nor having text messages coming in and the funniest part is that they thought I was majoring in Mass Communication. They thought that I was doing PR and when I told them I was majoring in animation that couldn’t believe me. After I drop Seng Hon at his place, I sped off to William’s and met up with my seniors from college. Yuki, Boo, Keng Sun, Nabil and Raymond were there and I met up with them.

They were asking me why do I look so dressed up to come to a nearby mamak stall and I told them I was at a dinner before that, and then only they believed me. They said that they feel under dressed looking at me. It was really amusing. After that, Yuki and I met up with Jin and Foong at Mcd’s and we sat there till 3 in the morning just chatting and laughing plus the occasionally stoning. All in all, I went back almost 4am and slept around 6am because I was reading a book and woke up around 12pm today just for lunch. It was really a hectic night that day because I went to four different stops meeting with almost four different groups of people. It was fun and I don’t mind trying it again if it doesn’t take so much time.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Chapter : A Sadden Heart...

I am feeling slightly off colour these days. Maybe it is because depressing people’s aura is rubbing on me and I too become as depressed as them. I don’t know. But a lot of things were on my mind these days and half the time I always keep it to myself and I really don’t know what to do with myself. Half the time I wanted to tells it to my best friends but half the time I feel that I can’t.

These days I feel that I have always been put down and I usually take it normally but half the time it tends to get to you when they do it way often. For an example, I know that my artistic skills isn’t something to brag about but I have always tried my best do practice and produce something which is nice enough for me to see. But throughout the 8 months I haven’t held a pencil because I keep thinking that I don’t have the skills to even draw something presentable. I know it is all in my head but it doesn’t helps when your best friends keep telling you that you can’t draw either. You know how heart crushing it feels that something that you love to do and realize that you can’t do but instead of getting encouragement from your friends, instead you get words like “You can’t even shade properly. I wonder how in the world you graduated from the academy.” It hurts but I don’t say it because I used to take it as a joke. But if you kept on repeating it tends to get to you really badly.

Teases are fine with me. I am always the center of attention when it comes to stupidity, lameness or dumbness. I admit that, I don’t mind that. But sometimes I feel that can I get some kind of other attention instead of that? Or maybe something that isn’t regarding about, “Oh, Jessie is always getting this guy’s attention. Jessie is this. Jessie is that.” I don’t see it as a compliment but just a word of teasing and sometimes I feel a strike of uttermost jealousy. But I can’t say these things because I feel that it is what brings laughter and joy to all of us and honestly enough, it does bring it to me. I love seeing people laughing and joking but sometimes I feel is that the only thing I can do?

Another thing troubling in my mind, are men. I don’t mean it as an offence but sometimes I keep wondering, what has happen to all the normal men in this world? It may like I’m bragging but I am just stating a fact here. I do get people taking my numbers because of my looks. I do get people liking me because of my looks. As flattering as it may be, but they haven’t even know me well enough yet and it is tough when you have no choice but to treat them nicely even though they keep declaring their uttermost love at you and you keep saying to them, “How can you like me when you don’t even know me?” and when I do say that, they will be all pissed at you saying that you are very snobbish and what not or I didn’t give them a try to find out. I kept wondering, am I just going to get a guy because I feel that I should give him a chance? I don’t want to fall into that situation.

What I tend to find it something that will push me forward. I am already getting put down by my own parents and I have to bear with it. But getting put down by your own friends in a teasing way is fine, but too much, it hurts you really badly. Am I the kind that I have to cheer my friends up and let my problems engulf me slowly? But for what is worth, I do treasure what I have, my friends that is always there for me and sides, I shouldn’t be greedy and ask for too much, right?

Friday, September 7, 2007

Chapter : Trip to Brisbane

Finally I am updating my journal after staying in Brisbane for 8 days and have barely time to type a proper journal entry due to the fact that I have no privacy. My time spent in Brisbane was pretty dead because Brisbane is a small country and well, there isn’t much to do to begin with. I went to Harbour Town and did some shopping, went to Surfer’s Paradise to walk around. I have to admit that Brisbane is a pretty nice and relaxing town. But I wouldn’t know whether I can live there but I guess I have to get use to it I suppose.

On the other hand, my time in Brisbane was mostly spent seeing the universities there and meeting up with the representatives from those universities. I have already sent my application to these three universities, Griffith, Qantm and QUT. Now I’m waiting for the offer letter to arrive to confirm my placement in the universities and if everything goes well, I would be leaving to Brisbane by February. The reason why I decided to go to Brisbane is because after listening to my dad’s prep talk, saying that he is retiring in 2 and a half years time and I have to support my youngest brother education and if I go to Brisbane I would be able to save money on the accommodation, transportation and also on food expenses because my sister is studying there.

Although my main wish is to go to Vancouver to study but I have to think of my brother’s education too and well, I have to think of my own future too. My sister is applying for a PR there and when I study there, I would be able to apply for a PR too and my family would be able to do the same and migrate there and therefore my youngest brother’s education wouldn’t be so expensive then. I would probably be working there too because if I am not mistaken when I get my PR I would have to fulfill some conditions or some things.

Looking on the brighter side, at least the job opportunity is not too bad and well, I would be able to work there or something. If things get better, I might be able to apply to work at other countries too. So I have to look things on the brighter side. Every cloud does have a silver lining. Wouldn’t you think so? For what’s worth, I did get my daily dosage of eye candies when I was there. This is what I found out that differentiates between Malaysia and Australia.

Malaysia vs. Australia.

Australians are pretty polite people because they give ways to people who are crossing the roads and you don’t need to know about us Malaysians.
Australians that works in constructions sites or even garbage collectors are good looking!
Some Australian men wear shorts, like really short shorts and do their daily work.
You can walk around bare footed in Australia and people wouldn’t even give a damn.
Australia is a pretty laid back country.
Australia knows when work is and when is play time.
Brisbane is a very hilly place.
Australia ends things at 9pm. I so prefer Malaysia because of the 24 hours mamak non-stop.
Malaysia has CHILLI.
Australia’s has way better Mcds and KFC.

I can’t think of anymore because I was listing it out in my head when I was walking around Brisbane but then it took me a while to get to type it in my journal entry and therefore these things tend to slip my mind. Anyway, furthering on my story…Brisbane’s portions of food is huge and half the time I have to force myself to finish it. Even though it is expensive but looking at their large portions of food, I will say that it is pretty reasonable. It is like paying for the amount you are getting. I will probably add tons of weight when I go there because in a week I can actually put on 5kgs. Wouldn’t want to think what happens if I go there for 2 years.

After I came back, Nicole was already back in US and I didn’t even get to meet up with her. My 17 year old brother said that I have gotten darker. Joey and Yuki said that I look better with some weigh on me. All in all, I really miss my mates and I was so happy the moment I got back they came. I reached KL on the 4th around 7 something in the morning or earlier I couldn’t remember and later that night itself or the next day the Rashingis and Yuki dropped by for a visit. Joey and Yuki stayed over the night unexpectedly because Joey was supposed to do her work in Yuki’s place but came over my place first and did her work here and Yuki was accompanying her at the same time and in the end, they slept over my place.

It felt like forever not seeing them when I was in Brisbane and this cost me to worry because what will happen if I go there and study and work there? Would I be able to adapt my lifestyle there? I actually love KL’s hectic life to be honest. Sadly but true. Well, I can’t say it now because I really wouldn’t know until I experience it myself right? Joey has already graduated from college, well, sort of but she still has to go back to do her animation though. Her exhibition launch is tonight and I promised her that I would go because she would feel uncomfortable because of the atmosphere.

A lot of things can actually happen when I was away for 8 days and this guy Seng Hon I was seeing, it became weird because I could feel the distance between us and this sixth sense of mine is tingling saying that it wouldn’t work out. So I guess it is time for me to move on or just stick to my single life. More or less, I would say I should go with the flow. I finally went for my late night drinks at Centerpoint Mcds’ with Yuki and Joey. Joining us was this guy named Foong. We sat there talking, teasing, laughing, making jokes, talking about serious things and talking about ghost stories that made me freak out and felt really scared to go back home to my 13th floor condo.

After that we were joined by another friend, Pei Chyi which she was with her own housemates named, Maria (though her Chinese name is similar to mine) and Jin. They were Pei Chyi’s age which is 19 and I felt pretty old at that time. Funnily enough Jin and I seem to have a similar interest and we were pretty much in sync most of the time. I found my twin brother without realizing I thought. During my time when I was hanging out there, the guy who asked for my number named Marco suddenly appeared and gave me a shock. It is because he and I don’t message each other anymore and also the fact that he was supposedly to be “courting” me but I knew that he was just fooling around as usual. Well, due to the fact that he only got my number after my outing to Maison and the next day asking me out for a drink and knowing the fact the main reason he asked my number is because of the way I look. I feel so…used. But he is a pretty nice guy but he is only really quiet because his main language is Chinese and everyone knows that I can’t speak Chinese to save my life.

Maybe I should start taking up Chinese lessons in order for me to be able to live up to my own reputation as a Chinese. Funnily enough, I just want to learn how to speak and understand but not write. The main languages that I really want to learn how to speak, understand and write are Japanese and Korean. Oh well, let see how things go…I myself wouldn’t know.