Saturday, May 2, 2009

Chapter : Questions?

Trying to focus but I can’t seem to do it, my mind is fogged up. I am trying my best to push away these feelings, but sadly, I can’t. I tried to hold back my tears but in the end they just flow down like a stream. Once in a while I managed to regain composure only to be betrayed by my feelings. My mind is in a mess, my heart feels burdened. I can’t think straight, I can’t do anything right. All I see is darkness, all I feel is loneliness. Pressure is arising, time isn’t lengthening…yet I still have to strive on further. How long will I last before I suffer from a mental breakdown? How long will I last before I suffer from a nervous breakdown? How long will I last before I give up from everything? How long?

Should I continue forward? Should I just give up? Should I just ignore all these facts and live on my own life? What should I do? I can’t think anymore. Tears should not be shed over this matter. Tears should be shed over joyous occasions. Not this petty sort of stuffs. Feeling isolated, feeling deprived...Feeling as though that I’m no one and I am casted aside…


What’s next? I wouldn’t know…time is still moving forward…I must look forward and cast my problems; feelings aside…I will work it out. I will work it through…somehow, probably alone.

3 comments:

Bea said...

((((BIG HUGZ))))

jesc dear....u ok?

pls don't bottle up everything inside till u explode...we care for you...=)

if u feel u can't talk to anyone, then at least talk to God and let Him handle ur problems...no problem is too big for God bcoz God is bigger than all our problems...

(((hugz))) take care~~~

alwizhyper said...

*big hugs back*

thank you bea! <3

im up to my stress level. LOL. my lecturer who was responsible of arranging my course outline didn't specify properly what kind of electives im suppose to take and now i cant graduate...

plus, she also was the one who bluntly told me that kelsie and i wouldn't be able to complete our 2 mins animation clip even though we have textured some stuffs and modeled everything...:(

u take care too yah! <3

Bea said...

eh, can't graduate?? like that oso can? maybe u can consult the Dean of ur faculty or something...get second opinions and advice...don't just rely on the advice of one lecturer...maybe other senior lecturers or student advisors can help u out...

if not..then just stay a while more in brisbane till u grad lor...hehe...

ganbatte!!! i know u and kelsie can do ur best and finish the animation! don't give up~

(((hugz)))

~there's a purpose behind every problem, trust in God~