Chapter : I'm BLIND.

Whenever I see someone wearing glasses, I will always ask them the ever famous question, “How high is your power?”

You see, I was diagnosed with the lazy-eye, also known as Amblyopia (just found that out today) at the age of four. It all happened when my parents noticed that their beloved daughter was watching the TV in a very funny way. Her head would be turned in a 3/4 view and she would peer at the TV with the corner of her right eye. This went on for quite a while until my dad decided to bring me to see an eye specialist. 

So after finding out that I had the lazy-eye, the doctor recommended my dad to bring me to see another doctor that specializes in the treatment of the lazy-eye. I remember that after seeing that doctor, I had to wear this particular eye patch over my right eye and I didn’t want to go to school because I was so embarrassed that I had the huge eye patch over my right eye. I got teased a lot back then…

Then I also remembered that after school or during the weekends I would go to the clinic and they would put me in a room where I had to trace some pictures of Winnie the Pooh characters and some others. Maybe that’s when I developed my passion for art, who knows? 

Now I’m cured from the lazy-eye condition though my power on my left eye is currently 700 whereas my right eye is currently 400. It actually went up by 50 last year and my eye doctor told me to see him when I return to Kuala Lumpur. I hope that this time, my power is currently stable and would maintain that way for the rest of my life. 

When I tell friends about my glasses power they would go, “Jessie, you’re blind.” Yes, I am. Steal my glasses and I would be helpless. 

To show you how blind I am, see below.

This is what people with perfect vision see. I hate you guys. Nah, I kid. I'm just jealous and want to have your eyes instead.

This is what I see without my glass or contact lenses.

The moral of the story is...those with perfect vision, TREASURE it! You don’t want to end up like me unless like someone decides to sponsor me to go under laser surgery or probably just wake up one day and realize that I have perfect vision again! Hey, one can hope, right?

Chapter : My Dad

Today is Australia’s Father’s Day. So this would be a short post…I think.

My dad has always played the “bad cop” role in the family. My siblings and I are scared shitless of my dad because he was the one that would discipline us whenever we did something wrong. Whenever one of us gets into trouble, he would grab his belt or cane and would whack us and the ones that were not in trouble hides in the room and pretend to be angels. I also remember the time that when we know that we would get a hell of a beating, we would run to our rooms, wear extra layers of clothing so the pain on our bums would be lessened. Before you go, “it’s child abuse!” I must say, it’s an Asian thing where parents hit their children. Have you not watch Russell Peters?

My dad is also very harsh with us when it comes to education. He believes that if his children receive good education, they would get better jobs in order to support themselves in the future. So whenever one of us fails an exam, we would be afraid to approach him to tell him our results. Well, mainly me because I was the least studious one…and I remember the one time when I failed my Math’s exam, he would ask me to do all the corrections on a piece of paper and he would look through it and then ask me to re-do it so I would remember not to make the same mistakes again.

Also, my dad isn’t the kind that forces his children to pursue something that they didn’t like so I was pretty grateful that my dad allowed me to pursue my interest in arts. I have friends that their parents weren’t supportive and forced them to do something that they didn’t like. Even though my dad doesn’t talk to us that much, but we know that he truly cares about us and takes personal note on our interests. For instance, my dad would find out whether he has friends in the animation industry and would ask to see whether they could offer me an internship or like he knows that my sister is into musical stuffs, he would buy all the musical CDs for her. 

I remember my friends would always say to me, “Jessie, your dad is so SCARY!!!” whenever they meet my dad for the first time because whenever they would greet him, he would just grunt in return. He always has this (what I call) the “bull dog” face because he is always looking so bad tempered. But I know, deep down that my dad is a softie at heart because once he is used to your presence, he would open up to you and talk to you more…he would tease you from time to time. But he is much better now because he can actually greet and talk to people and this was proven when my boyfriend met my dad for the first time and they talked a little and eventually my dad asked him to stay for dinner. Then when I asked him, “So, scared or not?” He replied, “Nope.” Or maybe my boyfriend has awesome people skills and is genuinely not afraid of anyone.

My dad can be pretty amusing at times because I remember when I broke up with my ex, he tried to give me a “talk” to tell me that there were many fishes in the sea and I shouldn’t be hung up over him and stuffs. I didn’t know what to react when he did that but nevertheless I was happy that he did. Also, when I found out that I failed my Masters, I cried shit loads and he would sit down with me, calm me down and said comforting words like everyone fails at least once in their lifetime. When my self-esteem was really down that time, he said this to me, “I know that you can do it, you just have to put your mind and work hard.” Those words gave me my confidence back and I managed to complete my resubmission on time.

So, to my dad, thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and even though I would get frustrated with you from time to time, I love you.

Happy Father’s Day.

Chapter : The Eldest

Being the eldest is hard. Well, I’m not speaking from experience, I’m speaking from observation. You see, being the eldest in the family requires a lot of responsibility. Not only that, if you are the first son of the family, you too bear a lot of weight on your shoulders cause you’re carrying the family’s name and stuffs like that, you know?

I have an older sister. Even though she and I are always not on good terms but nevertheless I still respect her. Lately she has been through a lot of pressure from work and other personal stuffs. She has to plan her wedding, pay bills (mortgages) and all the other things. Well, being the second eldest in the family, I don’t really get all the responsibilities but I still do have my share and stuffs. At times, I wished I could play a bigger role…

I’m used to be on my own when I’m at home, content with my laptop and shows that I have stored. Being branded “anti-social” by my family because I don’t talk much with them (it’s better now, I talk to them from time to time, mostly my mom) but it actually gives me a chance to observe my family. 

This is how I noticed that my sister is being through a lot lately. She may not tell it to me or my brother…but I know that she’s has a lot of weight on her shoulders. My mom said that she is adjusting to the life having to think about paying mortgages, and if she wants to start a family she too has to think about savings and stuffs. The only people she could tell her problems is her fiancé and best friends.

So, that’s why I try to help her out from time to time. The only thing that I could do is helping her out when she is preparing dinner and washing the dishes. Simple stuffs like that and also, try to not get in her way. But seeing her juggling her work life and her responsibilities makes me respect her a lot more. I remember the last time when I was way younger, I’m always quarrelling with her because she would always throw her temper at me when she’s in a foul mood and I would fight back. But now, I learned to be more tolerant and would just accept it. 

This is what I observed about being the eldest in the family…it may not be accurate.

1. Taking care all the younger siblings
2. Show good example to the younger siblings
3. Handle all the “affairs”
4. If the younger siblings are under your care, you bear full responsibility as the guardian
5. All family affairs will be discussed with YOU first then only to the younger siblings

Well…there are more but currently these were the few things on top of my head. So my sister has been bearing all these responsibilities and also with her long strenuous working hours as a pharmacist, she is still able fulfill her role as an older sister and daughter.

I hope that when I encounter these responsibilities in the future, I too will be able to handle it just like her.