Chapter : Freedom

Man, so is this what freedom feels like? After working for the past month on my Master’s work resubmission, I’m DONE. FREE. Maybe I should run around naked to celebrate my freedom or something. Now, I have to wait for my results which I would only know on the 1st of September…hope that I will pass this time. 

Originally, my deadline for my resubmission was on the 31st of August but out of the blue my supervisor sent me an email saying that my resubmission date was pushed forward to the 26th of August and guess what, I found that piece of information on the 24th of August. Boy that certainly made my day.

So on the 25th I met up with my supervisor and she was amazed on how calm I looked. She said this to me, “Jessie, I’m amazed that you are so calm. If it was me, I would be panicking! I’m proud of you seeing how you handle this so well!”  

Then when she left for her class, I started listing down the things I have to do to prepare myself for my presentation in front of two examiners the next day. As I was listing, suddenly I started panicking and was like SHIT! Can I complete all these things on time?!! 

At that moment, my mom called (she read my Facebook status and was worried). So we started talking and she was asking me about my boyfriend. This is how she asks about him, “How’s things with you and your boy boy?” I find it amusing as she refers him as boy boy instead of boyfriend. Also, normally the term boy boy (in my books) meant a guy who is younger than you…well, he does look younger than me even though he is the older one.

Anyway, so my mom called to calm me down and gave me some encouragement (I love you, mom) but I guess these past months I’m closer to her because she calls me more often now. I always joke with her by saying,

You only call me when jie (older sister) is working or not free or the younger one (my brother) is at school or not answering your phone calls. I’m the last resort. (Insert dramatic sobs here)

To this she replied,

Excuse me young lady, your mother here call you just to talk to you. You think phone calls to Australia very cheap ar? (Chinese slang all the way!) Your mother misses her children okay, so far and only one to keep me company here in KL. 

How am I supposed to reply to that?

Moving on, the day of the presentation…I knew that one of my examiners is my lecturer that taught me before and the other was an external examiner that works in a games industry and is also teaching in the university part-time. I was nervous as hell and on top of that, I didn’t sleep a wink that night because I was rushing for my work. I texted my mom and my boyfriend that I was really nervous and my mom called me straight and the first thing she said to me, “Did you pray to God? If not, go pray and ask Him for encouragement.” 

Well, my mom is a religious person so I guess that was expected from her. After that, I called my boyfriend and talked to him for a while and I managed to calm down a little. Then while Kelsie was doing her presentation I was sitting in the corner reading through my little speech that I wrote down like moments ago which I didn’t even use it at all. When Kelsie’s presentation was done, it was my turn…my hands were shaking and I said a silent prayer, “Dear God, please help me get through this. Thank you.”

During the Q & A session, I was amazed that I could answer all the questions from the examiners and what really made my day was one of the examiners (my lecturer) actually liked my game concept! Compared to my previous presentation with a different set of examiners (the first time) they said that it wasn’t even worth doing. So that really meant a lot to me. 

Now that I’m finally free, I should start doing all the stuffs that I have neglected...reading, drawing, playing games and my freelance. In few weeks time, I would be back in KL. I just can’t wait!

Chapter : Horror Flicks and I Don't Mix

Today’s blog post was inspired because Sylvia was doing her assignment on horror movie flicks. I myself am not a fan of it. Put it this way, if I would have to choose watching Twilight and a horror movie flick, I rather watch Twilight. That’s how much I hate horror movies. 

So you might ask why do I hate it? Well, I believe that I always have a very wild and vivid imagination and whenever someone describes me something I could picture it in my mind but could never draw it out on paper. Like when reading books and I would imagine how the characters would look like befitting the characteristics as how the author have described them. 

Once, I kid you not..a friend was explaining to me how some ghost from the Japanese horror flick Ju-On looked like in full detail, something about a lady that crawls on all fours and stuffs…I could actually pictured it in my head and it send shivers down my spine, plus I actually dreamt it later on that particular night and there goes my beautiful peaceful sleep as I lay awake in my bed trying not to close my eyes as I know that I would dream about that horrible creature again. 

Friends find it amusing to con me into watching horror flicks with them because they like to see my reaction whenever these things pops out from the screen and scared the shit out of you. To be honest, I get scared easily. If I’m totally in my own world, the smallest prod would scare me shitless. In my entire life, I was conned into watching TWO horror flicks thanks to my lovely best friends. One was some zombie movie and the other was the Omen. My friends enjoyed the movie while half the time I was closing my eyes and ears while imagining rainbows, ponies and unicorns. 

Also there was this time where I had a small tiny television in my room (years back) and it was the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival or something and I dared myself to watch this Chinese horror flick entitled Dial D for Demon. 

Movie that made me shat brix

I watched 1/3 of the movie and then I stopped. I couldn’t bring myself to complete watching the entire movie as I was already hiding under the blanket , covering my ears and possibly shat brix along the way too. Then that night, I tried sleeping in my own little bed but I couldn’t because the fear of dreaming the horrible stuffs I watched from that particular movie. So I snuck onto my sister’s bed when she was asleep (we shared rooms) and slept there together with her. She gave an annoying grunt because I was invading her space but nevertheless allowed me to bunk in with her on her tiny bed. That allowed me to sleep peacefully throughout the night. 

Thank God for elder siblings, no?

Crap. I shouldn’t be typing this when I’m alone at university at 12.31 am. Now I have to worry about scary things that would jump and attack me whenever I go out to use the bathroom or fill up my bottle water. 

EDIT: I can't stop looking at the door to check whether there would be random things looking in at me. CRAP. I need happy pills damn it cause happy thoughts are not working! 

Chapter : Sleeping Positions and Habits.

Growing up, we have many types of sleeping positions or habits. Whether it is sleeping on your side, on your back, some impossible pose that will make us question what your body is made of or have funny sleeping habits where you would toss and turn to a certain number of times and then would be able to sleep. 

I too once was a victim of this position...

 

When I was younger (my, there’s a lot of post about my younger days, eh?) my mom told me that I was a still and quiet sleeper but my sister said otherwise. It’s because my sister and I shared rooms and beds for years until she went off to Australia to study and then decided to stay there. She said that I was a kicker in bed which means that the person unconsciously kicks things such as pillows or blankets…and also will inflict pain on the person sharing the bed next to the kicker.

I then began to realize that I have funny sleeping habits that I possess. 

1. I MUST have a blanket covering me in order to sleep.
2. When I sleep on my side, I would have one hand under the pillow.
3. When I sleep on my back (which is rarely) I cross my arms.

Now, I still have these funny sleeping habits but I grew out of my kicking one. There was this time where my boyfriend saw me sleeping and said (something similar along these lines…memory very vague):

“You know, you sleep so quiet! Like a dead person…I thought you died or something. Maybe next time I would have to check whether you are still breathing or not. Just in case.”

I found this online, so which type are you? Do you have any interesting sleeping positions or habits?

Where's the one hand under pillow position?

Chapter : Nicknames

Growing up we all have been given nicknames by our parents, friends, lovers and foes. I in particular have accumulated a fair amount of nicknames since when I was a bald and toothless baby to the current “me” I am today. Funny how that some nicknames are related to our personalities and some are just based on our names or some just doesn't make sense. 

When I was a baby, my mom told me that everyone from my dad’s side of the family calls me “ham pao pao” which means crybaby (I also heard that it also meant hamburger but I don’t understand, speak or write Chinese so I’m going to follow what my mom told me). Well she said that I would cry at anything and everything. I would cry if my siblings bullied me, I would cry when I don’t get things my way, technically, like a small brat. Last time, I tend to cry quite easily but now I am able to laugh and cry at the same time, talk normally but tears would still stream down my cheeks. Those days, my parents would always say these same lines to me, “Every little thing also you cry. Little bit little bit also cry." At least I'm better now, I don't cry that easily unless provoked or have some sort of hormonal imbalance or something.

Remember that ONE time where Tamiya was such a HUGE fad? Every boy would be seen having one (well, most of the boys I knew owns at least ONE Tamiya car) and they would bring parts to “modify” their own cars so it would race faster and stuffs. Well, there was this one particular Tamiya car which was called “Shooting Star” and soon my primary school classmates started calling me that because my Chinese name is Su Ting (there were many others but let’s just choose the most famous one…) So throughout that period of time, my classmates would address me as Shooting Star instead of Su Ting and I actually answered to these name callings. Those were the days…

When I was Form 2, I shifted from Damansara Utama school to Taman Tun school. It was scary as I needed to start afresh, making new friends and it doesn’t help that my self-esteem was really low because the day before I started in the new school, I had the most disastrous and hideous haircut ever (now I will never ever cut my hair into a boyish hairdo no matter how much my mom says that I look good in it because I don’t.) Anyway, I managed to adapt myself to my new school pretty quickly and was making friends. Reaching Form 4, I was in the art stream and most of my friends were in the pure science or sub-science stream and I am only able to hang out with them during recess hour. This is where I started to get close to my Malay classmates and learn how to speak their “slang”. Then one of my classmates decided to call me, “Siti” (a common Malay name for a girl) because I was speaking Malay like an authentic Malay person and then started telling his friends to do the same. This particular joker also asked some of the teachers to address me as “Siti” too and the easy-going teachers actually did. That lasted for a while but now they don’t call me “Siti” anymore, they just shorten my name from Su Ting to “Sting”  (also pronounced as "Steng").

Then moving on college days, where I learnt that sleep was overrated. I don’t really recall when or how it happened, but my college mates started calling me “Pigeon”. If I’m not mistaken, it was because that they saw me fooling around imitating a pigeon call and said it sounded exactly like the real thing or maybe cause I keep making pigeon sounds…I’m confused. Till now, there are some that still calls me “Pigeon” and I answer to that nickname. My best friend, Joey calls me by one special nickname; she always calls me “Mangkuk”. It means bowl in Malay by the way and untill now, I don’t know why she calls me that but I find it amusing. It’s like this special bond we have created just between us.

Here are a few more…

1. alwizhyper – my ever famous nickname that I use in my emails and online games and much more. People said that I’m constantly hyper and always bursting with energy but as I get older…the energy is burning out.
2. Monkey – my boyfriend calls me that and at times Joey would call me that too. It’s because I make faces, talk nonsense, have a short attention span and very mischievious.
3. “Cina Murtad” – well, I’m not sure how to explain this because I think it varies overtime or something but what my friends told me last time (years back)…it means that a Chinese person that “changed” into a Malay person or a Malay person in a Chinese body (?). Will reconfirm this with my friends…

Well, I can’t think of anymore. So what’s yours?

Chapter : Dedications?

A short entry for today before I post the super long entry which would probably bore everyone and make them wonder, “How can she write so much?” The answer is simple; in reality I suffer from a serious case of verbal diarrhea. I spew nonsense as I go and most of the time, it doesn’t make any sense then I managed to do in while blogging. So today I received a special surprise from someone really sweet. We met online through this game called Audition and one of the best memories of her that I remember is that she gave me a cash item (meaning to say that you have to use real money to get these 3d rendered items to make your character look really pretty) and I was amazed how could a person be so nice to me when we JUST met on that day itself and suddenly showered me with gifts? Apparently, this person’s personality is like that. 

Anyway, back to the topic…she dedicated her first blog entry to me because she said that I inspired her to start blogging again. I was amazed that I was her inspiration because I didn’t know that I have such effect on people to begin with. So far, she is the second person who wrote an entry about me. One is this guy which everyone probably knows by now and the other is her. Maybe I should start dedicating some posts to people that I really cared about or those that inspired me…it could be a form of gesture to tell them, thank you for being there for me and changing my life.

What do you think?

Chapter : How I Met My Beau

A random entry for today since my brains is not working at the moment. Well, I feel slightly accomplished today as I managed to clean the room, wash the bed sheets and aired my pillow and blanket. Now if only I could keep this particular attitude when I’m doing my assignments…

A funny conversation I had with a friend of mine recently, she was asking me how I meet my current beau (I like to say beau at the moment cause it sounds much more fancier…) So I told her that I met him through a friend, though during that time we didn’t speak to each other as I had the moment of “all-men-were-evil” phase and we only exchanged his and byes or maybe we had a one-liner conversation before. I don’t remember… 

Then when I returned to Brisbane to complete my masters, I found him on Facebook and I thought to myself, “Hey, I recognize this person, let’s add him!” Then eventually he confirmed my friend request and he posted on my wall first wondering why I am not in the Rockband Tuesday anymore. So we started talking there and I thought he was the same as every single man out there in the world, pure evil with evil intentions…so I didn’t put that much effort in replying him and stuffs till we added each other on MSN. If you are wondering, “But you think that he was pure evil with evil intentions?! Why add him?” In my defense, I found him interesting…anyway, continuing on my story…

So, we started chatting on MSN every single day and I shared with him my webcam ONCE then the next day he surprised me by saying that he bought himself a webcam to chat with me. Now over here, everyone would probably say, “Awww, so sweet! He likes you!!” But in my mind, I was thinking, “Oh, cool! Now we can webchat we each other!” You see, even though that time I had feelings for him, but I’m always in denial thinking, “Nah, feelings? Like? I don’t think so! Maybe I had some huge ass dinner making me feel this way” OR “He likes me? Nah, he is just nice. He could probably use the webcam to chat with other people.”

This is where those who are my friends and hearing me say these things would whack me in the head and say, “Jessie, you stupid person.” It’s because when I told them that he invested in a webcam to chat with me and I find him very funny and stuffs and I could so imagine their faces when they replied, “Jessie, he likes you. Who in the right mind would suddenly invest in a webcam to chat with you? Plus, you guys barely know each other!” and I said, “Because I’m funny! That’s why! We sort of know each other…before this…you know, through a friend…but not really talking…I don’t know…” Thank goodness that when I was discussing these things to my friends it was on MSN, if not, I have no idea how many times they would whack me on the head for being dense and superbly in denial mode. 

During the frequent webchats and he asked me out on a date once (it was way before he invested in the webcam so bear with me because I know I’m getting my entire story mixed up here…) which you can read in this post…then I remember one time he said something to me which surprised me to the point that I didn’t know what to reply because I was taken aback by it. Bet he was grinning from ear to ear that time when he saw my “crap-I-don’t-know-what-to-say” face. Then eventually he confessed to me by writing on a piece of paper “I LIKE YOU” and showing it through the webcam which made me smile widely as I am now typing this entry. 

That’s about it...well, sort of the entire summary of how I met him. 

This is totally unrelated to the post, but my friend said to me when I was in denial mode with my feelings…

“Jessie, you know the song from Hercules the cartoon?”

“Which one? There were plenty…”

“The one where the girl sings that she isn’t in love with Hercules?’

“I think so, why?”

“It’s so totally you. But nevertheless, I’m happy that you’re happy!!” 

“Thanks…I guess.”

If you are wondering what the song is (It’s pretty famous.) Here’s the link for it. Enjoy.

Chapter : The Special Someone

I took a little break from the internet because I was accompanying someone throughout the entire time. This special someone came to Brisbane to see me and spend some time with me. Even though I was the one staying in Brisbane, he was the one bringing around to places I have not been before. He played the tour guide, I played the tourist. It was fun.

Back story, remember a little post I had called A Long Distance Date? Basically my date put together some stuffs for me to follow while I held a mug shot picture of him looking a little crazy because well,

1. I was holding a mug shot photo of my date
2. I was taking pictures with the paper that had the mug shot photo

Anyway, continuing the story, I completed everything that stated in there and send him the pictures that I took along the way as “proof” that I have actually completed the entire journey. That’s when everything all began, the webcam chats, the constant flirtations and the in denial mode that I was in and eventually we became an item. 

So, he came to Brisbane, I met his friends, he met with Sylvia though he was supposed to meet Kelsie but she decided to change her flight to a later date so he couldn’t meet her in the end…he met my father, sister, brother and my sister’s fiancé. My father asked him to stay for dinner on my birthday and my brother cooked for him. I guess that’s my birthday present from my brother…cooking for me and for him. 

We walked a lot. We hung out in the parks, sat on the Citycat (some ferry transportation…boat bus?) ate together, watched a movie together and loads more. It is fun to have spend some quality time with someone special again. But all these lovely moments have to come to an end. He just went back to Malaysia just this morning, I dropped him off at the bus station at 4 in the morning and now I have to focus on my studies all over again, resubmitting my master’s project and in hopes that I will do it better and pass it. 

Now it’s back to the webcam chats again and to end this entry, here’s the picture we took together at the Brisbane wheel. If you are able to see on my Facebook, the time where I held a mug shot photo of him at the Brisbane wheel here’s the couple shot. Enjoy!

From virtual to reality.