I haven’t been updating because I feel ill for the past one week and boy, it was terrible. I had to be rushed to the emergency ward because my throat swelled up twice the size causing me not able to neither breathe nor swallow. My parents brought me there and while on the way to the hospital, my dad was lecturing me about everything under the one sun. I would say it was pretty pathetic because his daughter is suffering from lack of oxygen going through her lungs in order for her to survive and all he could do is complained about the daughter being such a nuisance in the house.
After being rushed there, my hands and legs plus my face were all numb and boy, I didn’t look a pretty sight. I guess the other patients or people who were there were thinking that I was a spastic child breathing abnormally. All I know that I was propped onto the bed there and being covered with blankets because I was shivering my head off. I was half asleep while waiting for the doctor to come check on me and this nurse who occasionally came to me to check on me, boy her hands were freezing cold when she touched me and she noticed that my hands were still numb, she passed me a plastic bag and asked me to breathe inside it. It was actually to calm my breathing down.
Then the doctor arrived and checked upon me, asking questions which I didn’t answer due to the fact that I was pretty much voiceless and was at the groggy state. My parents answered the questions she asked and then later on she just checked here and there. Next thing I know, I was given two injections, one on my butt and the other on my arm. The nurse who gave me my injections, the butt was fine because heck, I don’t feel much down there except that her hands were frigging cold. The one that was given to me on my arm nearly killed me because she couldn’t find my veins or something and have to inject me twice and the needle isn’t like some petty needle. I managed to see how long that needle was before it gone inside me. I didn’t like it one bit, not that I am afraid of needles or anything but it just hurts the crap out of me.
At least it managed to made the swelling on my neck lower because I could feel my pipe airs opening and I finally am able to breathe properly again though my throat was killing me most of the time when I swallow my saliva. I have to wait for my dad to come and pick my mom and me up because my dad left earlier to tend to my youngest brother’s homework. For what is worth, I barely could walk properly because of my sickness. When I reached home, I was put straight to bed without any further ado and all I do was slept the entire time. Even when I woke up the next day, I ate my meal, which is porridge and yeah, I had it for an entire week! And then I went to bed again. My maid occasionally came to see me to see whether I am still alive or not and not at a critical state. My parents kept asking me whether I am better which is pretty dumb because I am voiceless and I was still hibernating under all the blankets and long sweaters.
For the entire week I had no voice and for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed being mute for the past one week. Though on Friday when I was feeling better and could actually walk up and down the stairs to grab my meals, people decided to chose that day to call me and when at times when I forget that I was voiceless, I would just pick up the phone causing the person who called me going multiples “Hello” and all they could hear was a hoarse “Ah”. To give a slightly vague idea, imagine Darth Vader going “Ha” but with a sore throat. Luckily that time my brother was at home and half the time I will thrust the phone to him in order for him to become my interpreter while I am voiceless. On the other hand, my family seems to enjoy that their daughter or sister is voiceless because I wouldn’t be able to argue back whatever they say at me.
During that day, Joey and Yuki dropped by to visit me and well it was pretty much a weird visit because I couldn’t speak to them and could only communicate to them with typing my messages on my phone. But half the time I was just making faces and making them laugh and telling me to stop being stupid. They left around 1am though because Joey couldn’t go back home late. The next day it was a Saturday and I can’t remember what happen on that day but all I know that Foong called me on Friday to invite me to attend his birthday party which was held at Loft and he was one of the people which I forgot that I was voiceless and picked up the phone and all he could hear me say is “I’m sick. Bye.” Sounded kind of room but hey, I did say that I was sick.
Sadly enough, when my week was up I had to go back to work in the office again which I dread doing so. I still have my cough though and even though I have my voice back, I still think that it isn’t fully recovered because my voice sounds sort of deep. Some reckons that I sound the same but I know that I don’t. Even Joey feels the same too because I was talking to her just now on the phone and I was saying something which I cant remember what and she was exclaiming that I sounded like a small boy. Great, now I can sound like a small boy I could fool everyone who calls me and pretend to be my brother. Sense the sadly mad sarcasm? Doubt so.
My dad is still pestering me about my portfolio which I seriously don’t know why I haven’t bring myself in doing it. I was thinking that I should just send in what I have and see what happens. I may not know but I got a feeling that I won’t be able to get in or something. For what is worth, my dad books tickets to watch Harry Potter movie this Friday and I have to get it by tomorrow. Looks like I have to grab some money from my dad so I can go collect the tickets tomorrow. I wonder whether I should wait until the evening to make my move or take it earlier and tell Joey that she doesn’t need to accompany me anymore.
I think being sick in bed for a week screwed up my time and date system because I kept thinking that I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and only to be told by my own dad who is like way older than me and supposedly to have slightly worse memory than me that my appointment is next week and when I thought that I have a dinner with him and his friends this Friday, only to be told again by him that it was next week. I seriously wonder when my system will be alright again. At least I have something to look forward this weekend, a day out with my high school friends! Finally, out of the house after a week long of rest!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Chapter : The Past Week
I haven’t been updating my journal even though a lot of things have happened for the past week. Anyway, I would try to summarize what has happened to me the past week. Let’s begin with my beauty pageant contest…
On the day of the finals, Yuki accompanied me for that final day and as usual, I have to been there at 6pm because they wanted us to do some rehearsals. The make-up artists came early and did our make-up and Yuki was there to tell them how I wanted the make-up to be. But mostly, it was Yuki who told them how the make-up she wanted it to be on me and the results was great. I love my make-up actually compared to the last 2 weeks I went for the beauty pageant contest making myself looking like a banshee with a heavy bird nest hair. My hair was done up pretty nicely too I must say. Continuing on with my story, the dance choreographer came and he taught us some dance to the song “Candy man” sang by Christina Aguilera.
After we practice the dance, we have to wait around for the night itself to begin. We quickly changed into our clothes which we were told to wear, short skirts and a bright top. After a long wait, finally, the competition begins. The opening act which was the dance didn’t go as planned because the DJ played the music slightly earlier which caused us to became confused and just danced as we practice but it didn’t look really nice due to the fact that everyone was “everywhere”. After the opening act, we have to introduce ourselves and I think as usual that I have introduced myself way to fast which I felt that I didn’t because to me, I kept thinking that my speed of talking is normal. But it didn’t seem that way to others I suppose.
Like I have warned before, I am summarizing things up because I feel that is a lot of things to tell. Anyway, after we introduced ourselves, we have to perform our talent. Now this is where the things went down for me. I was pretty much enjoying myself that night because it is finally the end and I felt that I have made new friends and gained some experiences. When it was my turn to perform my talent, which was just playing the keyboard of the song entitled, “Reason” from the famous Korean drama series, “Autumn in My Heart”. As I approached the keyboard, I started to play but due to the fact that the speakers were next to me blasting its sound at me causing me to forget my notes and caused me to destroy my entire talent round. Everything came crashing down on me until the MC had to come to me and asked me whether I should start all over again which I agreed to it and after the guy lowered down the volume for the speakers, it was too late because I was so nervous. I kept playing the wrong notes and couldn’t perform my talent well. True, I was disappointed with myself for not being able to perform my best at my talent round and it is also my fault for not practicing it.
After all that, the results were out. I didn’t win anything but I wasn’t unhappy about it because I don’t mind at all. I was happy that my friends got something and I am also glad that everything was over. It was a fun-filled experience for me and I would join more if I have the confidence and the time though. The photographer said that he would call me if there is any photo shoot on and I wouldn’t mind joining to be honest. I really enjoyed myself that night and I was happy that it was over.
Anyway, on Friday which was just recently Yuki, Joey, Boo and I went to Maison again because it was their first anniversary night and heck, we had invitations to go and didn’t want to waste it. They offered free flow of drinks from 9pm until 11pm and Brandon suggested us to come earlier because he has an opening act, so he says. I have invited Naveen and Seng Hon for the night but unfortunately, Seng Hon couldn’t make it so in the end Raj and Shaun were the ones who came. Anyway, Foong and Jason also came for the gala night but they didn’t stay long because I think Yuki told me that they can’t stand the music because it is too raw and Maison didn’t have enough hot chicks for them to look at. They didn’t left but they just went to a different club called Loft. Okay, that night I must say that I went all out. I was mostly on the dance floor because I didn’t want to drink so much due to the fact that I am driving them home and afraid that we stumbled onto road blocks.
When the night has just begun, I saw Luq which this pimping hat and I stole it and I was wearing it while dancing a little. Then a random guy suddenly came up to me asking if he could take a picture with me with the hat and I agreed because I was just having fun. Then the guy who took the picture said he wanted one too and I did take a picture with him. After I have gotten my picture taken, Boo looked and me, smiled and said, “Fuh yoh! Jessie celebrity!” I just laughed and ignored him. The next thing I know I was on the dance floor for a while dancing around. After that I head back to the place where we were sitting and talked to others a bit. Suddenly out from no where, Brandon came up to me and carried me high up in the air causing me to literally die from heart attack because of his sudden “attack”. The gang was cheering and Yuki asked Boo to carry her up which he did. Then suddenly Brandon put me down when I thought it was over, but instead he just put me down so he could carry me up HIGHER. We were practically creating a scene nearby laughing and cheering.
Later on, we decided to go to the dance floor again. Like I have said, I was pretty much in a dancing mood that night due to drinking a tad bit much of alcohol which I am not used too. Joey, Yuki and I went onto the stage and started dancing. It was so packed that I felt the stage was about to collapse from all the weight. Yuki was doing her thing which this random guy and boy, she was dancing really seductively at him! Then suddenly out from no where, that guy grabbed me and danced with me and I was just enjoying myself and danced with him. Luckily Stylus and Boo were there to take care of us because once they noticed something they quickly barged in causing me to be dancing with them instead. I remembered that I was dancing with another guy later on too but it didn’t last long because Boo came in the right timing.
After tiring myself out from the dance floor, I went down to sit. Yuki was more in the drinking mood instead of dancing while I was more the other way around if you know what I mean. Okay, to cut the story short…before the night ended, Joey and I decided to go to the dance floor one last time and let loose. I was dancing with this guy named David which he gave me his name card out from no where. Surprised me on the spot I tell you. Then Stylus came and joins for one last time too. After all that the night has ended and we all went back home. I was the one driving because well, like I have said, the others drank pretty much and was afraid of roadblocks. As we were heading out, I was driving, Yuki was in the passenger seat, Joey and Foong was behind. Everyone was going back home so therefore that was a slight traffic jam around. Then we all noticed that there was this random guy waving at me I think and I randomly waved back because I was thinking that it was just a friendly person waving to everyone. Then at one point we were stuck in a line of cars for a while and Foong suddenly exclaimed “Hey, that guy is waving here!” All of us looked up at him and noticed him doing a small dance while waving his hand phone and the next thing we knew, he came up to the car, knocked on the window and asked for my number. I was dying of shock that moment and I just passed it on to him.
When he asked for my number, all of them were laughing and screaming at him “You are the man. You rock!!!” I was just smiling and laughing because it was totally unexpected! The next day, he messaged me and I met up with him together with Yuki. He brought his friend along and we just sat there for a while chatting. The guy who asked for my number, his name is Marco and his friend is Evan. Marco that night was so quiet and shy which Evan stated that it was because of my existence that day. I didn’t know why because he did ask me to go out for a drink which I agreed and went. I didn’t see why it has to do with my existence that day causing Marco to be so quiet. Then I found out that Marco is better off speaking in Chinese dialects because his English isn’t that profound. We hung out for a while before heading back home. Well, actually Yuki and I left early because I couldn’t stay out so long due to the fact that my parents would literally slaughter me on the spot because I have been going home pretty late.
That pretty much summarized what has happen to me for the past week. I tried to summarize the story a lot which I felt that I did a bad job because the story was all over the place. No wonder I am not fit to become a writer. One day I shall frequently update my journal so I wouldn’t have to cut things short. Also on the random note, I seriously need to buy the last book of Harry Potter. Most of my friends have gotten it and read it! Even though I knew what happen in the end though.
On the day of the finals, Yuki accompanied me for that final day and as usual, I have to been there at 6pm because they wanted us to do some rehearsals. The make-up artists came early and did our make-up and Yuki was there to tell them how I wanted the make-up to be. But mostly, it was Yuki who told them how the make-up she wanted it to be on me and the results was great. I love my make-up actually compared to the last 2 weeks I went for the beauty pageant contest making myself looking like a banshee with a heavy bird nest hair. My hair was done up pretty nicely too I must say. Continuing on with my story, the dance choreographer came and he taught us some dance to the song “Candy man” sang by Christina Aguilera.
After we practice the dance, we have to wait around for the night itself to begin. We quickly changed into our clothes which we were told to wear, short skirts and a bright top. After a long wait, finally, the competition begins. The opening act which was the dance didn’t go as planned because the DJ played the music slightly earlier which caused us to became confused and just danced as we practice but it didn’t look really nice due to the fact that everyone was “everywhere”. After the opening act, we have to introduce ourselves and I think as usual that I have introduced myself way to fast which I felt that I didn’t because to me, I kept thinking that my speed of talking is normal. But it didn’t seem that way to others I suppose.
Like I have warned before, I am summarizing things up because I feel that is a lot of things to tell. Anyway, after we introduced ourselves, we have to perform our talent. Now this is where the things went down for me. I was pretty much enjoying myself that night because it is finally the end and I felt that I have made new friends and gained some experiences. When it was my turn to perform my talent, which was just playing the keyboard of the song entitled, “Reason” from the famous Korean drama series, “Autumn in My Heart”. As I approached the keyboard, I started to play but due to the fact that the speakers were next to me blasting its sound at me causing me to forget my notes and caused me to destroy my entire talent round. Everything came crashing down on me until the MC had to come to me and asked me whether I should start all over again which I agreed to it and after the guy lowered down the volume for the speakers, it was too late because I was so nervous. I kept playing the wrong notes and couldn’t perform my talent well. True, I was disappointed with myself for not being able to perform my best at my talent round and it is also my fault for not practicing it.
After all that, the results were out. I didn’t win anything but I wasn’t unhappy about it because I don’t mind at all. I was happy that my friends got something and I am also glad that everything was over. It was a fun-filled experience for me and I would join more if I have the confidence and the time though. The photographer said that he would call me if there is any photo shoot on and I wouldn’t mind joining to be honest. I really enjoyed myself that night and I was happy that it was over.
Anyway, on Friday which was just recently Yuki, Joey, Boo and I went to Maison again because it was their first anniversary night and heck, we had invitations to go and didn’t want to waste it. They offered free flow of drinks from 9pm until 11pm and Brandon suggested us to come earlier because he has an opening act, so he says. I have invited Naveen and Seng Hon for the night but unfortunately, Seng Hon couldn’t make it so in the end Raj and Shaun were the ones who came. Anyway, Foong and Jason also came for the gala night but they didn’t stay long because I think Yuki told me that they can’t stand the music because it is too raw and Maison didn’t have enough hot chicks for them to look at. They didn’t left but they just went to a different club called Loft. Okay, that night I must say that I went all out. I was mostly on the dance floor because I didn’t want to drink so much due to the fact that I am driving them home and afraid that we stumbled onto road blocks.
When the night has just begun, I saw Luq which this pimping hat and I stole it and I was wearing it while dancing a little. Then a random guy suddenly came up to me asking if he could take a picture with me with the hat and I agreed because I was just having fun. Then the guy who took the picture said he wanted one too and I did take a picture with him. After I have gotten my picture taken, Boo looked and me, smiled and said, “Fuh yoh! Jessie celebrity!” I just laughed and ignored him. The next thing I know I was on the dance floor for a while dancing around. After that I head back to the place where we were sitting and talked to others a bit. Suddenly out from no where, Brandon came up to me and carried me high up in the air causing me to literally die from heart attack because of his sudden “attack”. The gang was cheering and Yuki asked Boo to carry her up which he did. Then suddenly Brandon put me down when I thought it was over, but instead he just put me down so he could carry me up HIGHER. We were practically creating a scene nearby laughing and cheering.
Later on, we decided to go to the dance floor again. Like I have said, I was pretty much in a dancing mood that night due to drinking a tad bit much of alcohol which I am not used too. Joey, Yuki and I went onto the stage and started dancing. It was so packed that I felt the stage was about to collapse from all the weight. Yuki was doing her thing which this random guy and boy, she was dancing really seductively at him! Then suddenly out from no where, that guy grabbed me and danced with me and I was just enjoying myself and danced with him. Luckily Stylus and Boo were there to take care of us because once they noticed something they quickly barged in causing me to be dancing with them instead. I remembered that I was dancing with another guy later on too but it didn’t last long because Boo came in the right timing.
After tiring myself out from the dance floor, I went down to sit. Yuki was more in the drinking mood instead of dancing while I was more the other way around if you know what I mean. Okay, to cut the story short…before the night ended, Joey and I decided to go to the dance floor one last time and let loose. I was dancing with this guy named David which he gave me his name card out from no where. Surprised me on the spot I tell you. Then Stylus came and joins for one last time too. After all that the night has ended and we all went back home. I was the one driving because well, like I have said, the others drank pretty much and was afraid of roadblocks. As we were heading out, I was driving, Yuki was in the passenger seat, Joey and Foong was behind. Everyone was going back home so therefore that was a slight traffic jam around. Then we all noticed that there was this random guy waving at me I think and I randomly waved back because I was thinking that it was just a friendly person waving to everyone. Then at one point we were stuck in a line of cars for a while and Foong suddenly exclaimed “Hey, that guy is waving here!” All of us looked up at him and noticed him doing a small dance while waving his hand phone and the next thing we knew, he came up to the car, knocked on the window and asked for my number. I was dying of shock that moment and I just passed it on to him.
When he asked for my number, all of them were laughing and screaming at him “You are the man. You rock!!!” I was just smiling and laughing because it was totally unexpected! The next day, he messaged me and I met up with him together with Yuki. He brought his friend along and we just sat there for a while chatting. The guy who asked for my number, his name is Marco and his friend is Evan. Marco that night was so quiet and shy which Evan stated that it was because of my existence that day. I didn’t know why because he did ask me to go out for a drink which I agreed and went. I didn’t see why it has to do with my existence that day causing Marco to be so quiet. Then I found out that Marco is better off speaking in Chinese dialects because his English isn’t that profound. We hung out for a while before heading back home. Well, actually Yuki and I left early because I couldn’t stay out so long due to the fact that my parents would literally slaughter me on the spot because I have been going home pretty late.
That pretty much summarized what has happen to me for the past week. I tried to summarize the story a lot which I felt that I did a bad job because the story was all over the place. No wonder I am not fit to become a writer. One day I shall frequently update my journal so I wouldn’t have to cut things short. Also on the random note, I seriously need to buy the last book of Harry Potter. Most of my friends have gotten it and read it! Even though I knew what happen in the end though.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Chapter : Early Birthday Party
Yesterday was what I can call an eventful day. If you may wonder why I said that right? It is because my best friends threw me an early birthday party which I will never forget. They brought me to a club called Masion and it was Boo’s friend that gave us free entry plus free drinks for the night. Not only had that Boo’s friends, Luq and Brandon specially come for the night just for me. I never felt so touched. Those who were present that night besides me of course are Joey, Yuki, Sylvia and Boo. It was such an eventful night.
Anyway, when we arrived all dressed up for the occasion, Boo went and asked the lady that we were under Luq’s guest list and she let us in for free and thus, once the guy checked out ICs to make sure that we weren’t underage, he stamped the word delicious onto our hands. When we went in there, it was just the start of the club where people just reached and drinking and no one was on the dance floor.
Then I drank a cup of whisky mixed with 100 plus and then Brandon asked me to bottom ups another glass of those which actually got me tipsy and I was pretty much sick in the head because I cant see straight but I am not drunk, just woozy and all that. I am still sane and what not but I was like suffering from a bad headache and I felt like vomiting but I couldn’t that sort of feeling. Yuki and Joey including Boo asked me to dance that night and I was reluctant to do so and in the end Brandon did the unexpected thing which was to shift us from upstairs to downstairs where we were literally just next to the dance floor.
I just sat there for a moment before being dragged by Joey and Yuki to the dance floor. I did put up a fight and was literally trying to fight the force of them pulling me to the dance floor and in the end they won because both of them were really strong and I had no choice but to dance. It actually got me thinking that since I am with them, why not let loose and have fun. As least I am with my bunch of best friends, that is what I have felt. So I just started dancing and going back to the table to rest because I really felt sick in the stomach and head.
I pity Sylvia though because she was not used to the environment due to the fact of the smoke and the lights and thus, making her not enjoying the moment but I am happy that she came just for my early birthday party and I was really happy. Thank you Sylvia! Even though I know that night made you felt unwell. Anyway, later on Boo joined in while Joey went back to the table to rest to dance and occasionally Brandon came and dance too. It was really nice! Yuki and Joey really can shake their body and I was just like, letting loose technically and Boo said to me in all the midst of noise, “See Jessie, you can dance!” I just gave him the “I am letting loose” sort of expression.
Then the worse happen, Yuki and Joey plus Boo tried to bring me up to the stage and I was really reluctant to go and I put up a fight and won. Then later on, we danced for a few moments and Yuki went up with Joey and they pulled me with the help of a slight push from Boo and the next thing I knew I was up on the stage too. I couldn’t do anything so I just danced on top of the stage with them and later on there was this dude who was shuffling on top of the stage with us, suddenly danced with all three of us and then he came to me and asked whether he can have a picture with me. I didn’t mind so I just agreed and I took a picture with him.
Yuki and Joey were giving me the sly look and I was like giving them back the “What” look. Later on we went down to rest and I was really feeling even worse then before and Boo poured me a cup of 100 plus and asked me to drink it all up in one shot which I did and it didn’t make me feel any better and he then poured me another cup and asked me to do the same thing which I did. After that I didn’t drank anymore because I couldn’t take it. But after a few rounds on the dance floor with Joey and Yuki it actually made me feel better. We did try to bring Sylvia once or twice to the dance floor but she couldn’t dance because she felt really uncomfortable. So in the end, Boo brought her outside to grab some fresh air which really made her feel better. While waiting that time, Yuki was dancing, and then a guy just danced with her and she also danced with him and the next thing I knew, they were introducing names and I was introducing myself and to his friend and I was dancing with his friend later on.
After that, Joey came back and she too started dancing and introducing herself to them and she was dancing…or should I say grinding with the guy who danced first with Yuki and I was actually dancing with the other friend of his. Joey and Yuki were doing on with their moves and I am dancing while thinking how is Sylvia in my head. I also felt really bad for Boo because he did all these for me and he couldn’t enjoy himself properly because he needs to take care all four of us girls. Thank you Boo so much for arranging this! Sorry you couldn’t enjoy yourself that night! Next time darling! After when Boo came back with Sylvia, the guy who was grinding with Joey suddenly shook hands with Boo and beckons him over and the next thing I realized, that guy was grinding with Boo and I was so damn amused about it until now! Best memory ever!
Then we started dancing again on the dance floor and then on top of the stage. This time Brandon was with us and he was dragged by me to come on stage even though he is so shy but I am happy that he did. Thank you Brandon for being such a great sport! During that time, Yuki was suddenly dancing with this random guy which wouldn’t allow her to get away from him and she was also letting loose herself and had tons of fun dancing. Go Yuki! Joey was grinding with Brandon but Brandon was really shy. I was just dancing and laughing. At 3am sharp, the music stopped and it was time to close the club. It is the basic rule in Malaysia where the clubs have to be closed by 3am and everyone is being shooed out of the club because they were closing it of course.
Sylvia drove us back because we are afraid of road blocks and accused of being drunk because we drank more than two glasses of alcohol even though we are sane enough to know what is happening around us. Anyway, I really enjoyed myself that night and I am really happy that they all came. After all, I rather go clubbing with a bunch of best friends because I know that I can let loose and have fun with them. Thank you Boo for organizing the thing. Thank you Luq for coming just for me even though you were not feeling well, and also thanks for the drinks! Thank you Brandon for being such a great sport for dancing with us and entertaining us! Thank you Sylvia for coming though it made you unwell but I am happy that you stayed till the end! Thank you to both Joey and Yuki for coming and well, just being you guys is a great fun! I really enjoyed myself that night and it was the best birthday ever! Not many people, but just the people that I am close with are fine enough with me. I met new people, experienced new things and heck, I even danced just for that night and you all know that Jessie never dances. So technically yeah, it was the best day ever! Thank you all! Love you all guys!
Anyway, when we arrived all dressed up for the occasion, Boo went and asked the lady that we were under Luq’s guest list and she let us in for free and thus, once the guy checked out ICs to make sure that we weren’t underage, he stamped the word delicious onto our hands. When we went in there, it was just the start of the club where people just reached and drinking and no one was on the dance floor.
Then I drank a cup of whisky mixed with 100 plus and then Brandon asked me to bottom ups another glass of those which actually got me tipsy and I was pretty much sick in the head because I cant see straight but I am not drunk, just woozy and all that. I am still sane and what not but I was like suffering from a bad headache and I felt like vomiting but I couldn’t that sort of feeling. Yuki and Joey including Boo asked me to dance that night and I was reluctant to do so and in the end Brandon did the unexpected thing which was to shift us from upstairs to downstairs where we were literally just next to the dance floor.
I just sat there for a moment before being dragged by Joey and Yuki to the dance floor. I did put up a fight and was literally trying to fight the force of them pulling me to the dance floor and in the end they won because both of them were really strong and I had no choice but to dance. It actually got me thinking that since I am with them, why not let loose and have fun. As least I am with my bunch of best friends, that is what I have felt. So I just started dancing and going back to the table to rest because I really felt sick in the stomach and head.
I pity Sylvia though because she was not used to the environment due to the fact of the smoke and the lights and thus, making her not enjoying the moment but I am happy that she came just for my early birthday party and I was really happy. Thank you Sylvia! Even though I know that night made you felt unwell. Anyway, later on Boo joined in while Joey went back to the table to rest to dance and occasionally Brandon came and dance too. It was really nice! Yuki and Joey really can shake their body and I was just like, letting loose technically and Boo said to me in all the midst of noise, “See Jessie, you can dance!” I just gave him the “I am letting loose” sort of expression.
Then the worse happen, Yuki and Joey plus Boo tried to bring me up to the stage and I was really reluctant to go and I put up a fight and won. Then later on, we danced for a few moments and Yuki went up with Joey and they pulled me with the help of a slight push from Boo and the next thing I knew I was up on the stage too. I couldn’t do anything so I just danced on top of the stage with them and later on there was this dude who was shuffling on top of the stage with us, suddenly danced with all three of us and then he came to me and asked whether he can have a picture with me. I didn’t mind so I just agreed and I took a picture with him.
Yuki and Joey were giving me the sly look and I was like giving them back the “What” look. Later on we went down to rest and I was really feeling even worse then before and Boo poured me a cup of 100 plus and asked me to drink it all up in one shot which I did and it didn’t make me feel any better and he then poured me another cup and asked me to do the same thing which I did. After that I didn’t drank anymore because I couldn’t take it. But after a few rounds on the dance floor with Joey and Yuki it actually made me feel better. We did try to bring Sylvia once or twice to the dance floor but she couldn’t dance because she felt really uncomfortable. So in the end, Boo brought her outside to grab some fresh air which really made her feel better. While waiting that time, Yuki was dancing, and then a guy just danced with her and she also danced with him and the next thing I knew, they were introducing names and I was introducing myself and to his friend and I was dancing with his friend later on.
After that, Joey came back and she too started dancing and introducing herself to them and she was dancing…or should I say grinding with the guy who danced first with Yuki and I was actually dancing with the other friend of his. Joey and Yuki were doing on with their moves and I am dancing while thinking how is Sylvia in my head. I also felt really bad for Boo because he did all these for me and he couldn’t enjoy himself properly because he needs to take care all four of us girls. Thank you Boo so much for arranging this! Sorry you couldn’t enjoy yourself that night! Next time darling! After when Boo came back with Sylvia, the guy who was grinding with Joey suddenly shook hands with Boo and beckons him over and the next thing I realized, that guy was grinding with Boo and I was so damn amused about it until now! Best memory ever!
Then we started dancing again on the dance floor and then on top of the stage. This time Brandon was with us and he was dragged by me to come on stage even though he is so shy but I am happy that he did. Thank you Brandon for being such a great sport! During that time, Yuki was suddenly dancing with this random guy which wouldn’t allow her to get away from him and she was also letting loose herself and had tons of fun dancing. Go Yuki! Joey was grinding with Brandon but Brandon was really shy. I was just dancing and laughing. At 3am sharp, the music stopped and it was time to close the club. It is the basic rule in Malaysia where the clubs have to be closed by 3am and everyone is being shooed out of the club because they were closing it of course.
Sylvia drove us back because we are afraid of road blocks and accused of being drunk because we drank more than two glasses of alcohol even though we are sane enough to know what is happening around us. Anyway, I really enjoyed myself that night and I am really happy that they all came. After all, I rather go clubbing with a bunch of best friends because I know that I can let loose and have fun with them. Thank you Boo for organizing the thing. Thank you Luq for coming just for me even though you were not feeling well, and also thanks for the drinks! Thank you Brandon for being such a great sport for dancing with us and entertaining us! Thank you Sylvia for coming though it made you unwell but I am happy that you stayed till the end! Thank you to both Joey and Yuki for coming and well, just being you guys is a great fun! I really enjoyed myself that night and it was the best birthday ever! Not many people, but just the people that I am close with are fine enough with me. I met new people, experienced new things and heck, I even danced just for that night and you all know that Jessie never dances. So technically yeah, it was the best day ever! Thank you all! Love you all guys!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Chapter : The Communist and the Beauty Pageant
So many things have happened these past few days. First off I should begin my story on Tuesday where I was asked to act in this movie called “Pahlawan”. Yuki was the one who called me and asked me whether I am interested and I was thinking that since I am free and have nothing to do and sides, it is what I call easy money so I agreed to it. The place of shoot is located at Hulu Langat which was like; somewhere in the jungle and when we reached there Yuki and I felt as though we have stepped into a whole new world. It is because that the shooting site itself was surrounded my Malay men and we were the only Chinese girls there. It felt so out of place though.
At first I felt really afraid being surrounded by all these people but eventually it became better because they meant no harm to us and also they treated us really nicely though they were really flirty and kept asking us for our phone numbers and such. I have never spoken so much Malay in my life and I was pretty astounded with myself because I still managed to be to really fluent in my Bahasa Melayu. Yuki and I were asked to become the villagers. I didn’t know how to act because I never acted in my life in front of a camera so Yuki went first and I just observed her and see what she was doing. Yuki’s part was walking down the pathway and was stopped by a soldier and he was asking her some questions. Yuki was told that she supposed to pretend not to understand Malay and thus replying in Chinese. I did that too later in my role. Yuki was a great actress for that part. Even the crew said so; I heard them because I was hanging around them observing Yuki’s acting.
When it came for my turn, I panicked a little but I managed to remain calm and acted my part without any problems. My part was to act as a villager too and I was staying in this little hut in the jungle. At first the director asked me whether I can do an act bathing which freaked me out because HELL no that I am going to show off my shoulders in front of the entire male clan. So instead I was just standing at some place and a soldier is asking me questions. I was trying hard not to laugh because the person who was asking me questions was the person who picked up a plant and said to me, “Will you marry me?” It was so amusing! But I managed to maintain cool and acted my part without any troubles.
Then we act our lunch and such, then I was asked to change into a communist uniform which startled me because Yuki didn’t have too but I was the only one who was asked too. Yuki did another part where she was held as hostage and what not. As I proceeded to change my costume, Yuki was doing her part. Then after I was already suited up I walked towards the place where they were filming. Yuki saw me in the communist uniform and she was liked, “Jessie! You look so cute in it!” I didn’t know how I looked like because there wasn’t any mirror to begin with. But some of the crew did say that I looked really adorable in it. Pity I didn’t have any camera with me so I could have a snapshot of myself in the communist uniform. But if I do recall, one of the crew did have a camera and Yuki did managed to get a snapshot of me in it with my face all blacken up.
My part was really amusing because I am supposed to be shot and die in the end. I really didn’t know how am I supposed to die so I just shut my eyes and pretended to faint which I thought it would looked as close as though I was dying but it didn’t seem to work quite well because the rest of the crew were asking what was I doing and I just smiled and just said I don’t know. It was pretty cool due to the fact that they put some fireworks into my clothes and they lit it up to make it blow up to show that I got shot kind of feeling. I thought as first it would be extremely painful but I was surprised that it didn’t hurt at all. Furthermore, I was happy that everything has come to an end. I was still harassed by the actors for my phone number but I didn’t give it to them because I didn’t want them to know my phone number. Yuki did give hers to the person who had the camera because she wanted the pictures and they promised to meet up for a drink after the film is done. That pretty wraps up the day for my shot. Yuki told me that I was the first female communist soldier who just appeared for four to five seconds and died and I replied to her saying. “Man, why can’t I be the first female communist to fight for the country and win?”
Then on Wednesday, another thing happened. Remember the time when I said I was “shipped” off to Hulu Langat to act in a movie? Well the person saw me, which was an agent for these sorts of things spotted me and asked me to join for this Sugar Pageant contest which was held in Crowne Plaza Hotel. I agreed to join because it would be once in a lifetime experience and also I will get some exposure. I felt bad because I dragged Joey and Kyoru to join me in the quest to search for the hotel because I didn’t know where it was located. But surprisingly it was pretty easy to find the hotel because it was so nearby the place where I used to have my internship there. As I walked into the hotel with them, I called Estelle (the agent’s name) that I have arrived and asked her where to meet her. We waited for a bit and then I decided to walk around and managed to find Estelle and she guided me to the place where I am supposed to wait. So I told Joey and Kyoru to gather their things and follow me to the Sugar Club.
Upon entering the club, I felt as though I given the “Manhattan look-over” because I felt as though their eyes were scanning me from head to toe. Thankfully I was with them so I can just sit down and chat with them for a bit. After a long wait, Estelle rounded us up because the make-up artists have arrived. For the first time in my entire life, I had heavy make-up on. With the tons of foundation and lipstick plus eye shadow, I looked like a different person. Even I looked myself in the mirror I can stare at it for a long time and asked myself, “Who are you?”
Then when my make-up and hair was done I was asked to proceed to the floor because the choreographer was going to tell us where we are supposed to walk and what not. To make matters worse, we are required to pose and do the cat walk which gave me a heart attack because for a person who doesn’t know how to pose yet alone hunches most of her life and was asked to cat walk is like asking a toddler to start running on its own two legs. It was pretty hard for me to pose sexily because I felt so expose showing off my legs and forced to smile and show off my assets to the camera or audience. Joey and Kyoru left later on taking a cab because they were bored out of their mind and were hungry.
At the event itself, I was pretty nervous about everything. I kept telling myself that everything will be fine and I don’t have to worry so much about everything and be myself. Unfortunately, it didn’t work quite well because I didn’t know how to catwalk nor how to pose so those were a major drawbacks for me. Then later on I am supposed to stand and introduced myself, which nervousness took over me and I spoke with rapid speed until the MC herself couldn’t understand what I was saying. Then after everything, they mention the winners for Miss Photogenic, Miss Body Fit, Miss Beautiful Legs and Miss Beautiful Smile. I didn’t win any of those titles but Estelle told me not to be sad or anything because this was just the first round and I have to be used to the environment. It was pretty amusing because those people who won have done modeling or cat walking before as in runway so it was a major plus for them.
As for me I was just a random picked out from nowhere and was asked to do these sort of things which I don’t mind because I feel that it would be a change of settings and would find out the life of being in a pageant or modeling. At least one thing I can tell, beauty pageant isn’t my thing because I am not used to cat walking, not standing for hours in one particular position where I have to thrust my chest out and butt out. All in all, the contest isn’t over yet because after two weeks, I am supposed to perform a talent which now I am worrying about because I don’t know what I am supposed to do! I can’t sing nor dance. Even acting I am not so sure about it, playing the piano is also out of the question because I haven’t touched it in years. So technically I have to figure something out before my two weeks are up. Hope that I will find it soon.
At first I felt really afraid being surrounded by all these people but eventually it became better because they meant no harm to us and also they treated us really nicely though they were really flirty and kept asking us for our phone numbers and such. I have never spoken so much Malay in my life and I was pretty astounded with myself because I still managed to be to really fluent in my Bahasa Melayu. Yuki and I were asked to become the villagers. I didn’t know how to act because I never acted in my life in front of a camera so Yuki went first and I just observed her and see what she was doing. Yuki’s part was walking down the pathway and was stopped by a soldier and he was asking her some questions. Yuki was told that she supposed to pretend not to understand Malay and thus replying in Chinese. I did that too later in my role. Yuki was a great actress for that part. Even the crew said so; I heard them because I was hanging around them observing Yuki’s acting.
When it came for my turn, I panicked a little but I managed to remain calm and acted my part without any problems. My part was to act as a villager too and I was staying in this little hut in the jungle. At first the director asked me whether I can do an act bathing which freaked me out because HELL no that I am going to show off my shoulders in front of the entire male clan. So instead I was just standing at some place and a soldier is asking me questions. I was trying hard not to laugh because the person who was asking me questions was the person who picked up a plant and said to me, “Will you marry me?” It was so amusing! But I managed to maintain cool and acted my part without any troubles.
Then we act our lunch and such, then I was asked to change into a communist uniform which startled me because Yuki didn’t have too but I was the only one who was asked too. Yuki did another part where she was held as hostage and what not. As I proceeded to change my costume, Yuki was doing her part. Then after I was already suited up I walked towards the place where they were filming. Yuki saw me in the communist uniform and she was liked, “Jessie! You look so cute in it!” I didn’t know how I looked like because there wasn’t any mirror to begin with. But some of the crew did say that I looked really adorable in it. Pity I didn’t have any camera with me so I could have a snapshot of myself in the communist uniform. But if I do recall, one of the crew did have a camera and Yuki did managed to get a snapshot of me in it with my face all blacken up.
My part was really amusing because I am supposed to be shot and die in the end. I really didn’t know how am I supposed to die so I just shut my eyes and pretended to faint which I thought it would looked as close as though I was dying but it didn’t seem to work quite well because the rest of the crew were asking what was I doing and I just smiled and just said I don’t know. It was pretty cool due to the fact that they put some fireworks into my clothes and they lit it up to make it blow up to show that I got shot kind of feeling. I thought as first it would be extremely painful but I was surprised that it didn’t hurt at all. Furthermore, I was happy that everything has come to an end. I was still harassed by the actors for my phone number but I didn’t give it to them because I didn’t want them to know my phone number. Yuki did give hers to the person who had the camera because she wanted the pictures and they promised to meet up for a drink after the film is done. That pretty wraps up the day for my shot. Yuki told me that I was the first female communist soldier who just appeared for four to five seconds and died and I replied to her saying. “Man, why can’t I be the first female communist to fight for the country and win?”
Then on Wednesday, another thing happened. Remember the time when I said I was “shipped” off to Hulu Langat to act in a movie? Well the person saw me, which was an agent for these sorts of things spotted me and asked me to join for this Sugar Pageant contest which was held in Crowne Plaza Hotel. I agreed to join because it would be once in a lifetime experience and also I will get some exposure. I felt bad because I dragged Joey and Kyoru to join me in the quest to search for the hotel because I didn’t know where it was located. But surprisingly it was pretty easy to find the hotel because it was so nearby the place where I used to have my internship there. As I walked into the hotel with them, I called Estelle (the agent’s name) that I have arrived and asked her where to meet her. We waited for a bit and then I decided to walk around and managed to find Estelle and she guided me to the place where I am supposed to wait. So I told Joey and Kyoru to gather their things and follow me to the Sugar Club.
Upon entering the club, I felt as though I given the “Manhattan look-over” because I felt as though their eyes were scanning me from head to toe. Thankfully I was with them so I can just sit down and chat with them for a bit. After a long wait, Estelle rounded us up because the make-up artists have arrived. For the first time in my entire life, I had heavy make-up on. With the tons of foundation and lipstick plus eye shadow, I looked like a different person. Even I looked myself in the mirror I can stare at it for a long time and asked myself, “Who are you?”
Then when my make-up and hair was done I was asked to proceed to the floor because the choreographer was going to tell us where we are supposed to walk and what not. To make matters worse, we are required to pose and do the cat walk which gave me a heart attack because for a person who doesn’t know how to pose yet alone hunches most of her life and was asked to cat walk is like asking a toddler to start running on its own two legs. It was pretty hard for me to pose sexily because I felt so expose showing off my legs and forced to smile and show off my assets to the camera or audience. Joey and Kyoru left later on taking a cab because they were bored out of their mind and were hungry.
At the event itself, I was pretty nervous about everything. I kept telling myself that everything will be fine and I don’t have to worry so much about everything and be myself. Unfortunately, it didn’t work quite well because I didn’t know how to catwalk nor how to pose so those were a major drawbacks for me. Then later on I am supposed to stand and introduced myself, which nervousness took over me and I spoke with rapid speed until the MC herself couldn’t understand what I was saying. Then after everything, they mention the winners for Miss Photogenic, Miss Body Fit, Miss Beautiful Legs and Miss Beautiful Smile. I didn’t win any of those titles but Estelle told me not to be sad or anything because this was just the first round and I have to be used to the environment. It was pretty amusing because those people who won have done modeling or cat walking before as in runway so it was a major plus for them.
As for me I was just a random picked out from nowhere and was asked to do these sort of things which I don’t mind because I feel that it would be a change of settings and would find out the life of being in a pageant or modeling. At least one thing I can tell, beauty pageant isn’t my thing because I am not used to cat walking, not standing for hours in one particular position where I have to thrust my chest out and butt out. All in all, the contest isn’t over yet because after two weeks, I am supposed to perform a talent which now I am worrying about because I don’t know what I am supposed to do! I can’t sing nor dance. Even acting I am not so sure about it, playing the piano is also out of the question because I haven’t touched it in years. So technically I have to figure something out before my two weeks are up. Hope that I will find it soon.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Chapter : Depressed?
Today seems to be a pretty depressing day…it started of with waking up early to head over to the old house to pack the left over things because the carpenters are coming on Wednesday to fix the cupboards and what not, so with the maid and myself, packing the things that I felt that my family would still want to keep and leaving out the rubbish such as old newspapers, magazines, old clothes and unusable items, I felt that it was pretty logical idea to do so. After a strenuous time climbing up and down the stairs, carrying boxes that weigh more then we do, carrying bags of plastics which are filled with things, we headed back home.
Resting in my own comfort zone, surfing the net and checking my mails, forums, journals and other things, I decided to do some tests which I found through a friend’s page. I did some carefree tests which don’t seem to be all that interesting to me but I did stumble upon this test where the title said “Are you depressed?” Thinking that I wouldn’t be a depressed person because I have my daily dosage of laughter and happy things surrounding me I casually did the test without much further ado. When the results came out, I was pretty surprised that I am 64% depressed. Even though it was stated there I am just slightly way more depressed then usual, or something like that, and I should seek professional help.
That actually got me thinking. Maybe I am depressed, hence the mood swings and eating disorders. I guess it is because I am too pressurized by my own parents and own things that I can’t even handle. My parents who seems to be throwing tasks and errands for me to do and even though I managed to complete it, they would still manage to find faults in me and I am always left helpless not to argue. Despite that, I still have my portfolio to worry and my own depressing self thinking that I am not worthy to be an artist or an animator. I remember my dad threatening me saying that if I continue acting this way (which I am wondering what kind of way am I acting now) he would take away my car, and will not give me any pocket money and to further add on, he would take away the computer and will leave me in my own room to rot. It actually seems pretty amusing to a certain extend because if he takes away my car, I would just walk to somewhere or beg a friend to pick me up (in order to run away?) and I don’t have any pocket money to begin with. If he takes away the computer, I will just call my friends or amuse myself with books that I have in my room. Well, I didn’t say that to my dad, what is the point of provoking him and cause more hell on my side?
On Sunday, I managed to hang out with Yuki and Joey at our usual hang out place which is at Centerpoint Mcd’s which seriously gotten me thinking that I been there way often then the toilet in my room. We have gotten into the conversation of horoscopes and birthdays. It is a very interesting topic to discuss and I find astrology an interesting subject to read about. Joey and Yuki pointed out that I am pretty much like my own horoscope which is Cancerian. They said that I am family oriented and also pretty much an emotional person. I agree with the emotional part but I wasn’t all too sure about the family oriented comment but when they pointed out the signs that I was showing or just normally act, I find it quite precise after all. For instance, they said that I will follow whatever my parents say regardless how will I suffer in the end. For an example (as quoted from Joey),
“Your dad tells you and your brothers that you shouldn’t on the air con because it is expensive, but your brothers doesn’t seem to care and still on it whereas you just quietly follow even though your room is burning hot.”
As quoted from Yuki, “Yeah, and some more like just now when your brother said that you have to send your youngest brother to Akido you just throw your temper but in the end still do it because you know that your parents asked you to do.”
I tried to defend myself by saying. “If I don’t do it, my dad will hit me…of course I do it right?”
“Well, you can rebel if you want. If they want to hit, let them hit. Like me, I don’t give a shit about what my parents say last time and true even though I am afraid of pain, I still don’t give a damn and let them hit me.” Joey replied.
When both of them pointed this out, I was pretty much surprised that I am way much more family oriented than I think! I guess I can’t run away from my own destiny after all. I found out that I am pretty much a Cancerian way deeper than I thought I should, I found out that I am depressed when I have the mindset that I am not depressed at all and also I found out that my life is having a big major turnover meaning that it is going down in the pits. I wonder what will happen next. I am afraid to find out…
Resting in my own comfort zone, surfing the net and checking my mails, forums, journals and other things, I decided to do some tests which I found through a friend’s page. I did some carefree tests which don’t seem to be all that interesting to me but I did stumble upon this test where the title said “Are you depressed?” Thinking that I wouldn’t be a depressed person because I have my daily dosage of laughter and happy things surrounding me I casually did the test without much further ado. When the results came out, I was pretty surprised that I am 64% depressed. Even though it was stated there I am just slightly way more depressed then usual, or something like that, and I should seek professional help.
That actually got me thinking. Maybe I am depressed, hence the mood swings and eating disorders. I guess it is because I am too pressurized by my own parents and own things that I can’t even handle. My parents who seems to be throwing tasks and errands for me to do and even though I managed to complete it, they would still manage to find faults in me and I am always left helpless not to argue. Despite that, I still have my portfolio to worry and my own depressing self thinking that I am not worthy to be an artist or an animator. I remember my dad threatening me saying that if I continue acting this way (which I am wondering what kind of way am I acting now) he would take away my car, and will not give me any pocket money and to further add on, he would take away the computer and will leave me in my own room to rot. It actually seems pretty amusing to a certain extend because if he takes away my car, I would just walk to somewhere or beg a friend to pick me up (in order to run away?) and I don’t have any pocket money to begin with. If he takes away the computer, I will just call my friends or amuse myself with books that I have in my room. Well, I didn’t say that to my dad, what is the point of provoking him and cause more hell on my side?
On Sunday, I managed to hang out with Yuki and Joey at our usual hang out place which is at Centerpoint Mcd’s which seriously gotten me thinking that I been there way often then the toilet in my room. We have gotten into the conversation of horoscopes and birthdays. It is a very interesting topic to discuss and I find astrology an interesting subject to read about. Joey and Yuki pointed out that I am pretty much like my own horoscope which is Cancerian. They said that I am family oriented and also pretty much an emotional person. I agree with the emotional part but I wasn’t all too sure about the family oriented comment but when they pointed out the signs that I was showing or just normally act, I find it quite precise after all. For instance, they said that I will follow whatever my parents say regardless how will I suffer in the end. For an example (as quoted from Joey),
“Your dad tells you and your brothers that you shouldn’t on the air con because it is expensive, but your brothers doesn’t seem to care and still on it whereas you just quietly follow even though your room is burning hot.”
As quoted from Yuki, “Yeah, and some more like just now when your brother said that you have to send your youngest brother to Akido you just throw your temper but in the end still do it because you know that your parents asked you to do.”
I tried to defend myself by saying. “If I don’t do it, my dad will hit me…of course I do it right?”
“Well, you can rebel if you want. If they want to hit, let them hit. Like me, I don’t give a shit about what my parents say last time and true even though I am afraid of pain, I still don’t give a damn and let them hit me.” Joey replied.
When both of them pointed this out, I was pretty much surprised that I am way much more family oriented than I think! I guess I can’t run away from my own destiny after all. I found out that I am pretty much a Cancerian way deeper than I thought I should, I found out that I am depressed when I have the mindset that I am not depressed at all and also I found out that my life is having a big major turnover meaning that it is going down in the pits. I wonder what will happen next. I am afraid to find out…
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Chapter : Graduation Night and the Inner Thoughts
Yesterday was my graduation night. Well, technically it is the night where I officially graduate. You know, with the robes and all. I picked up Beatrice from her house and then we set off to Sheraton Hotel located at Subang. At first I thought that I was really late because I was supposed to be there by 2pm but eventually it seems that I wasn’t that late after all. I keep forgetting that Malaysian time is pretty elastic, which means that if it stated 2pm it would start WAY later.
After I took the robes and what not, I met up with Kelsie and Sylvia who was already there earlier on and then I dragged both of them (with Beatrice of course) to the toilet to do their makeup. It was quite hard to do makeup under the yellow light because you can’t see much of anything. But I did manage to add some colours to their eyelids to make them much fresher (?). The time that we spent in the toilet was pretty long because I was doing Kelsie’s and Sylvia’s makeup. I am not a professional makeup artist so I felt that I did their makeup really badly.
After putting on the makeup, then it was time for us to wear the robes. I was wearing a M sized and I honestly tell you, I looked like a mini Jedi from Star Wars. Then Beatrice told me that digital animation batch was purple in colour which surprised me because my gown was purple and so was my makeup. Talk about coincidence. After we put on our robes, we head out from the toilet and met up with our fellow digital animation friends. Some of them just arrived and some of them were putting on their robes too and we occasionally helped them with their robes. The funniest thing was that the little board that we wear doesn’t fit well on our heads but it fits really well on the guys’ heads. So it is proven that they have big heads.
Then with a lot of commotion because the time for our graduation march is bound to be started, I saw some people just arrived on the spot and hurried to grab their robes and hastily put them on because we were told to be waiting at the reception area by 3.30pm. When all of have fixed our hats and robes, we headed down to the reception area. With laughter and jokes surrounding the digital animation batch, we headed there. We felt as though we were marching there because we were heading to the reception area in a group. When we reached there, we saw some parents arriving and already starting to take some pictures.
Few hours later, more people arrived and the rest of the other majors came. Cameras were flashing, laughter was erupting, and people were cheering and playing around. The feeling there made me felt that I was in college again except from the existence of the camera people taking random pictures of us. I managed to get some few pictures thanks to Yuki’s camera which I borrowed. I may upload the pictures later, I suppose. The commotion at the reception area was getting noisier since most of the students have arrived with their family or friends.
By 4pm, we were ushered to line up according to majors. It was pretty amusing to see the administrators holding the board stating the majors such as “Digital Animation, Illustration, Advertising, Interior Design and Multimedia”. It felt as though we were primary school kids that need guidance to our classes. Upon lining up, we actually waited there for an hour and half. By the time we actually went into the room, our legs were tired and we were sweaty because the evening sun wasn’t all that nice to us and was shining its heat upon us causing us to sweat under those heavy robes.
Then after the arrival of our lecturers and principal, then the speech from the principal, our batch president and batch 45’s president, it was time for the diploma taking thing. I don’t know how to explain that part though. But it was pretty simple because we just go up the stage and receives our diploma then we head down again. After we received out diplomas, then it was the dean awards and some competition awards. Then finally we can sit down and eat with our family or friends.
Most of the time I wasn’t at the table because I wanted to take some memorable pictures before I finally leave them for good. Thankfully we managed to get some pictures with our digital animation lecturers and classmates. We were the only group that actually went out from the hall just to take some random pictures. Then later on the rest of some other majors decided to come out and take some pictures too. There were some performances from our college juniors and as I remembered one lecturer who sang REALLY well. Nice voice, maybe he should consider going into singing instead of teaching multimedia.
Once in a while I went back into the hall to grab something to eat and took some pictures with my parents and siblings. Then after everything, the graduation night ended around 9 something pm which was really early. Maybe it isn’t a normal prom-ish thing where everyone gets to dance and such. Some of us decided to hang out after that which we did, at Sunway Pyramid Starbucks. The people who were present there were me, Beatrice, Sylvia, Chih Lun, Seen Hor, Woah Chin (I think that’s the spelling for her name), Wei Jae, Moon Liang, Terrence and two of our lecturers Vincent and Jason. Then the junior batch digital animators who graduated with us too joined us.
We talked, laughed and joked around for quite sometime and then we headed home. I dropped Sylvia and Beatrice back home and then I went to Centerpoint Mcd’s to hang out some more. Unfortunately Yuki went home early so it was left with Foong, Ben and I forgot his name again. It didn’t last that long either because I reached home around 1am. Then I went and played a few rounds of my online game and then I went to bed. The next day, which is today I woke up early just for family breakfast.
To make matters worse, I feel that my left eye power has gotten higher because I can’t see clearly with my glasses. Everything is in a blur and I really afraid that if the power goes any higher, I would be blind. That is what I am afraid of. Anyway, on with some personal issues…
I feel that I won’t be able to complete my portfolio anytime soon because I feel that I am not talented at all. True, I get the chance to further my studies and some would be envious due to the fact that some can’t even further their studies at all. It would be easier for me to complete my portfolio if I have the confidence with my works. Knowing that my skills in art is below average feels as though that I am not qualified to even pass and graduate from college or worse, not right to be in this course. Yeah, I have to get up my arse and complete my portfolio, but with what confidence? When I see my own friends drawing such beautiful works, I feel envious. Though they always tell me, that I can draw and all I need is practice but I feel so outcast from the artistic world. I never felt so untalented. Maybe I should just pursue another career I kept saying to myself.
I have tried my hardest to produce high quality works to add onto my portfolio but it isn’t to the universities standard. Throughout my time in college, my drawing skills were never strong. I am mostly based on 3d animating or just doing some minor editing. I never had a strong platform in my artistic sense and it is a wonder how I managed to pass all my subjects. It is pretty hard to for me to actually take up the pencil and draw when I know that the outcome would just be bad. I thank those who kept supporting me and giving their comments on my work but maybe I am just pulling myself down. Who knows that I won’t be an animator after this? I am not sure about my career path at times.
Pressured from parents to apply for universities, and yet I can’t tell them that the daughter of theirs isn’t fit to be an animator. I can’t tell them that their daughter can’t draw high quality works to compile into her portfolio. They have no idea how hard that I am trying. They keep thinking that I am online watching youtube videos or movies or just procrastinating around. I am always thinking about my portfolio, and when am I suppose to apply. I really want to complete my portfolio. I really want to further my studies. But the problem is how? With my talent, I know that I would never get in. I know that my friends will assure me that I will get in or if I never tried, how would I know that I won’t.
I really don’t know at times whether I am cut out to be an animator now. Maybe I should just work for my mom and take over her business later or something…Who knows.
After I took the robes and what not, I met up with Kelsie and Sylvia who was already there earlier on and then I dragged both of them (with Beatrice of course) to the toilet to do their makeup. It was quite hard to do makeup under the yellow light because you can’t see much of anything. But I did manage to add some colours to their eyelids to make them much fresher (?). The time that we spent in the toilet was pretty long because I was doing Kelsie’s and Sylvia’s makeup. I am not a professional makeup artist so I felt that I did their makeup really badly.
After putting on the makeup, then it was time for us to wear the robes. I was wearing a M sized and I honestly tell you, I looked like a mini Jedi from Star Wars. Then Beatrice told me that digital animation batch was purple in colour which surprised me because my gown was purple and so was my makeup. Talk about coincidence. After we put on our robes, we head out from the toilet and met up with our fellow digital animation friends. Some of them just arrived and some of them were putting on their robes too and we occasionally helped them with their robes. The funniest thing was that the little board that we wear doesn’t fit well on our heads but it fits really well on the guys’ heads. So it is proven that they have big heads.
Then with a lot of commotion because the time for our graduation march is bound to be started, I saw some people just arrived on the spot and hurried to grab their robes and hastily put them on because we were told to be waiting at the reception area by 3.30pm. When all of have fixed our hats and robes, we headed down to the reception area. With laughter and jokes surrounding the digital animation batch, we headed there. We felt as though we were marching there because we were heading to the reception area in a group. When we reached there, we saw some parents arriving and already starting to take some pictures.
Few hours later, more people arrived and the rest of the other majors came. Cameras were flashing, laughter was erupting, and people were cheering and playing around. The feeling there made me felt that I was in college again except from the existence of the camera people taking random pictures of us. I managed to get some few pictures thanks to Yuki’s camera which I borrowed. I may upload the pictures later, I suppose. The commotion at the reception area was getting noisier since most of the students have arrived with their family or friends.
By 4pm, we were ushered to line up according to majors. It was pretty amusing to see the administrators holding the board stating the majors such as “Digital Animation, Illustration, Advertising, Interior Design and Multimedia”. It felt as though we were primary school kids that need guidance to our classes. Upon lining up, we actually waited there for an hour and half. By the time we actually went into the room, our legs were tired and we were sweaty because the evening sun wasn’t all that nice to us and was shining its heat upon us causing us to sweat under those heavy robes.
Then after the arrival of our lecturers and principal, then the speech from the principal, our batch president and batch 45’s president, it was time for the diploma taking thing. I don’t know how to explain that part though. But it was pretty simple because we just go up the stage and receives our diploma then we head down again. After we received out diplomas, then it was the dean awards and some competition awards. Then finally we can sit down and eat with our family or friends.
Most of the time I wasn’t at the table because I wanted to take some memorable pictures before I finally leave them for good. Thankfully we managed to get some pictures with our digital animation lecturers and classmates. We were the only group that actually went out from the hall just to take some random pictures. Then later on the rest of some other majors decided to come out and take some pictures too. There were some performances from our college juniors and as I remembered one lecturer who sang REALLY well. Nice voice, maybe he should consider going into singing instead of teaching multimedia.
Once in a while I went back into the hall to grab something to eat and took some pictures with my parents and siblings. Then after everything, the graduation night ended around 9 something pm which was really early. Maybe it isn’t a normal prom-ish thing where everyone gets to dance and such. Some of us decided to hang out after that which we did, at Sunway Pyramid Starbucks. The people who were present there were me, Beatrice, Sylvia, Chih Lun, Seen Hor, Woah Chin (I think that’s the spelling for her name), Wei Jae, Moon Liang, Terrence and two of our lecturers Vincent and Jason. Then the junior batch digital animators who graduated with us too joined us.
We talked, laughed and joked around for quite sometime and then we headed home. I dropped Sylvia and Beatrice back home and then I went to Centerpoint Mcd’s to hang out some more. Unfortunately Yuki went home early so it was left with Foong, Ben and I forgot his name again. It didn’t last that long either because I reached home around 1am. Then I went and played a few rounds of my online game and then I went to bed. The next day, which is today I woke up early just for family breakfast.
To make matters worse, I feel that my left eye power has gotten higher because I can’t see clearly with my glasses. Everything is in a blur and I really afraid that if the power goes any higher, I would be blind. That is what I am afraid of. Anyway, on with some personal issues…
I feel that I won’t be able to complete my portfolio anytime soon because I feel that I am not talented at all. True, I get the chance to further my studies and some would be envious due to the fact that some can’t even further their studies at all. It would be easier for me to complete my portfolio if I have the confidence with my works. Knowing that my skills in art is below average feels as though that I am not qualified to even pass and graduate from college or worse, not right to be in this course. Yeah, I have to get up my arse and complete my portfolio, but with what confidence? When I see my own friends drawing such beautiful works, I feel envious. Though they always tell me, that I can draw and all I need is practice but I feel so outcast from the artistic world. I never felt so untalented. Maybe I should just pursue another career I kept saying to myself.
I have tried my hardest to produce high quality works to add onto my portfolio but it isn’t to the universities standard. Throughout my time in college, my drawing skills were never strong. I am mostly based on 3d animating or just doing some minor editing. I never had a strong platform in my artistic sense and it is a wonder how I managed to pass all my subjects. It is pretty hard to for me to actually take up the pencil and draw when I know that the outcome would just be bad. I thank those who kept supporting me and giving their comments on my work but maybe I am just pulling myself down. Who knows that I won’t be an animator after this? I am not sure about my career path at times.
Pressured from parents to apply for universities, and yet I can’t tell them that the daughter of theirs isn’t fit to be an animator. I can’t tell them that their daughter can’t draw high quality works to compile into her portfolio. They have no idea how hard that I am trying. They keep thinking that I am online watching youtube videos or movies or just procrastinating around. I am always thinking about my portfolio, and when am I suppose to apply. I really want to complete my portfolio. I really want to further my studies. But the problem is how? With my talent, I know that I would never get in. I know that my friends will assure me that I will get in or if I never tried, how would I know that I won’t.
I really don’t know at times whether I am cut out to be an animator now. Maybe I should just work for my mom and take over her business later or something…Who knows.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Chapter : New Hair Cut
These days I barely update my journal. Anyway, a little update to keep time passing by and letting people know what exactly I have been up too. Most of the times that I spent were with Joey and Yuki drinking or technically hanging out at McDonalds’ either talking about everything under the one sun or just stoning around playing card games. It is pretty fun when we hang out there doing nothing but talking and cracking up jokes from time to time. You see many kinds of people over there where some of them are studying or just like us, hanging out. I have been so hooked onto these sort of life to the extend that if I don’t have a day like that I would feel really bored.
Continuing my little story, I was forced to come home early today because my dad was making a lot of noise because of my routine. I can’t help it if I really like hanging out with them though it is pretty unhealthy because of the cigarette smokes or the constant refills of coke or just eating the food there. I hope that I can lose a few kg just in time for my graduation night which is just the following week. I can’t believe that time passes by so fast. To top it off, I have cut my long hair to a short sort of layered looking bob. I really like my old hairstyle because it was really easy to maintain because I don’t really spend much time on it. I also like my new hairstyle now but it is hard to maintain it because I have to make sure that the layered style I have on my hair doesn’t curl the wrong way and therefore making look as though I have “bed-hair”.
On the other note, my portfolio isn’t looking so much on the brighter side and now I have to really put my mind into it and set datelines for myself in order to complete my portfolio but not at the moment because now I am just typing an entry to update things that happened for the pass few weeks. I will work on the datelines thing when I am much more awake and not so blur. My mom bought me the perfect shoes to match my evening gown which I am sure that I am going to take pictures of during the graduation night itself. On the day itself when I bought my shoes, I also bought another dress which Joey who was with me and my mom that day thought that I looked really sweet in it and then started to plan the ways of dressing me up with that dress itself.
She said that I should wear that dress during my birthday which is not so far away to begin with. She said that on my birthday I should dress myself up like that and go clubbing with a bunch of our close friends and just let loose. That is the only thing which I am actually agreeing to it because I may not know whether I am able to celebrate my 21st birthday here in Malaysia next year. I hope that I am able to celebrate it though with them because it just makes life much more fun and memorable.
My mind isn’t really working anymore, I should better off head to bed since I slept very little the day before and I think when I wake up and read this entry I would wonder why in the world did I force myself to type one silly entry to update on things that happen in my life.
Continuing my little story, I was forced to come home early today because my dad was making a lot of noise because of my routine. I can’t help it if I really like hanging out with them though it is pretty unhealthy because of the cigarette smokes or the constant refills of coke or just eating the food there. I hope that I can lose a few kg just in time for my graduation night which is just the following week. I can’t believe that time passes by so fast. To top it off, I have cut my long hair to a short sort of layered looking bob. I really like my old hairstyle because it was really easy to maintain because I don’t really spend much time on it. I also like my new hairstyle now but it is hard to maintain it because I have to make sure that the layered style I have on my hair doesn’t curl the wrong way and therefore making look as though I have “bed-hair”.
On the other note, my portfolio isn’t looking so much on the brighter side and now I have to really put my mind into it and set datelines for myself in order to complete my portfolio but not at the moment because now I am just typing an entry to update things that happened for the pass few weeks. I will work on the datelines thing when I am much more awake and not so blur. My mom bought me the perfect shoes to match my evening gown which I am sure that I am going to take pictures of during the graduation night itself. On the day itself when I bought my shoes, I also bought another dress which Joey who was with me and my mom that day thought that I looked really sweet in it and then started to plan the ways of dressing me up with that dress itself.
She said that I should wear that dress during my birthday which is not so far away to begin with. She said that on my birthday I should dress myself up like that and go clubbing with a bunch of our close friends and just let loose. That is the only thing which I am actually agreeing to it because I may not know whether I am able to celebrate my 21st birthday here in Malaysia next year. I hope that I am able to celebrate it though with them because it just makes life much more fun and memorable.
My mind isn’t really working anymore, I should better off head to bed since I slept very little the day before and I think when I wake up and read this entry I would wonder why in the world did I force myself to type one silly entry to update on things that happen in my life.
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